Descent to Madness
by Serei2477
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki had always believed that his soul mate would be wonderful person to be around. The appearance didn't matter so long as they would gave Yuuri the love, respect, and acceptance he asked for; just as he would do the same for them. However, how can he stay in one piece when it's discovered that his crush and soul mate Victor Nikiforov is a violent murderer? (From Ao3)
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: If you are under the age of 18 and/or are unable to read graphic/disturbing material that will involve descriptive blood, gore, stalking, and violence, then I advise that you stay away from this fanfiction. It is not meant for nor will it ever be edited for the faint of heart. This is a story revolving around Yuuri Katsuki dealing with having someone so dangerous in his life that he can't get away from. You can't exactly make a premise like that sweet and child-friendly. Read with caution; You have been warned.**

* * *

 _Ever since the first human life breathed on this planet, man had known "Soul Marks." They were designs on a person's body placed right over their heart, varying from different shapes and sizes right down to the colors they adorn. Some marks were plain or incoherent, others beautifully crafted in elegant or abstract designs. Some Soul Marks were full of colors that blended together harmoniously like a masterpiece painting; others were unfortunate enough to be repulsive to the human eye. Regardless of their appearance, they held a special gleam to them that could never be replicated. Soul Marks could be covered, but no one could ever be fooled in regards to which mark was real or fake._

 _The Soul Marks were the link to one other person in this life, someone who is said to be the perfect match to anyone who bears the same design on their torso. For as long as the history books have recorded their information, most who bore a Soul Mark did their damnedest to find the one they were truly meant to be with. Fate surely could not be so cruel as to mark them to another but never have them meet, right?_

 _This has caused peace to crumble between monarchies, arranged marriages between noble families to become tense when both potential spouses wanted to remain single for their marked beloveds, and dreams easily crushed when elders died waiting for the only one they could love forever; alone and childless._

 _In the many, many years that the human race has existed, there have only been 30 confirmed cases of soul mates meeting. The expectations that soul mates were supposed to meet by fate and be together forever gradually dwindled as years became decades, and with that, centuries. It was only in the early 1800's that humans completely dismissed the idea of finding their soul mate and fell in love regardless of the marks they bore. It didn't make finding one's soul mate any less special though._

* * *

Yuuri Katsuki was one of many who didn't believe that a Soul Mark was as incredibly important as it had been in history. They, to him, were glorified tattoos people were born with. Though they were as important to him as freckles or a mole, he could appreciate them for what they stood for.

To those fortunate enough to be alive around the same time as their soul mate, the marks would be the symbol of at least one other person out there that would love and cherish them even after death. It was a little image of hope for someone who needed the motivation to continue living in this life. All they had to do to achieve the wonderful ending was search the entire planet for them and learn every language possible so they can ensure communication with their soul mate.

And if they did find them, hope that their soul mate was not 6 feet underground or deeply in love with another.

It was bittersweet for everyone; Novels and movies loved to take advantage of the fact.

Yuuri's own mark was very pale blue in color, designed in what he thought looked like a snowflake right over his heart. The edges were shaped like spear heads while the insides became thinner towards the center. Only the vertical line came together at the center to form a small diamond with frame threading connecting the edges.

He didn't mind the look of his mark. It wasn't extravagant, but it wasn't something that would garner unwanted attention. It was plain and nothing special, suiting for a man like Yuuri Katsuki.

His friends had made different comments regarding the mark he held. Some thought it looked like a ninja star; others thought it looked like a regular star or (according to the triplets) like an unfinished spider web. All of their answers were interesting to him but what really kept his mind occupied was wondering who his soul mate was and what they might have been like.

Was he a man who wasn't afraid to speak his mind? Was he a man who had a tough front but actually very sweet like in Anime? Or perhaps a stoic man through and through who had a lot in common with him? Maybe they were sweet and supportive… Maybe someone who loved dogs and had a smile contagious enough to light up a whole room… With silver hair… Gorgeous eyes as blue as the ocean…

He felt his cheeks redden a bit as his thoughts once again wandered towards Victor Nikiforov.

Victor was a student at Kumamoto University who came from Russia to study abroad. They weren't exactly friends, per se, but the two weren't on bad terms. The silver haired man had engaged Yuuri in conversation before, mainly to ask him for help academically or culturally. He held a natural grace to him that couldn't be replicated by even the most experienced ballerina. His natural charm and charisma made him adored by many. His positive attitude was contagious to even the most pessimistic students around campus.

Who didn't like Victor Nikiforov?

Yuuri had been one of many who developed feelings for the Russian man. Men and women alike wanted to have a date with him, but Yuuri had always seen the Russian turn those people down. He didn't understand why though. His admirers always had something special to them that made them stand out from the crowds. Some of them even offered him gifts in exchange for a date, but he always said no.

The amount of competition there was for Victor's affection was scary, honestly. However, try and try as the students might, Yuuri knew that all the efforts would be for naught. Unless they were the one that Victor had been talking about on the phone that day,

It had all been last week and very early in the morning. Yuuri's train had arrived from Hasetsu to Kumamoto much sooner than he had anticipated which gave him plenty of time to finish any extra work or get some reading in. So he sat himself down against the wall near the entrance of the school and pulled out his book to do some light reading. There weren't many people around, so why not?

A noise had startled him a few pages in; the doors to the university slammed open with an unknown tune playing. Some clothe rustles and then the ringing stopped.

"Chris!"

It had been Victor's voice. The man was outside answering a call, unaware that someone else was here to hear it. Quietly, Yuuri started to gather his things so he could leave the other to himself. There was a reason he rushed outside where no one was around.

"Yes… Yes… Very important…. I found him Chris…. I found my soul mate."

He nearly froze on the spot when he heard the news. Finding one's soul mate was incredibly rare and very, very special. So rare that it was worthy of media attention from all over the world. The moment that this information got out to a reporter, Victor was bound to be swarmed by unwanted attention.

"Yes I'm sure Chris! I saw it with my own eyes… No, he didn't see my mark yet, but that's okay. We're meant to be… We're going to fall in love, with or without the marks…"

A different feeling washed over his shock, something Yuuri hadn't recognized at the moment when he quietly placed his belongings back into his messenger bag. An ache Yuuri hadn't felt in a long, long time. Yuuko's announcement to dating Takeshi was the last time he felt this way, and he certainly didn't miss it before.

Yuuri had tuned out Victor's excitement and quietly walked away from the spot once he had finished collecting his stuff. The ache in his chest never fled since then. Even to this day Yuuri had a difficult time thinking of Victor without the sense of disappointment, jealousy, and sadness lingering around. So far, he had been avoiding crossing paths with Victor at University in the hopes that his little crush would go away; it felt like it was working.

He was happy for whoever was the lucky person soul bound to Victor though. The silver haired man was so pleasant to be around as a stranger, he could only imagine how nice it'd be to be his significant other.

He was absolutely happy for Victor, though a part of himself wished that he could have had a chance with the other man before he met his soul mate.

The slight shake of the train startled him, nearly making him drop his phone but he thankfully caught it before it hit the ground. Yuuri sighed in his relief then took a glimpse out one of the windows, noticing the sign that marked Hasetsu a few miles away.

Yuuri had been on the train for almost two hours now, standing with his hand on the support above to keep him from falling at a sudden stop. Though he attended school in Kumamoto, Yuuri had decided to commute via train every day and live at Yutopia rather than get a dorm. His family was financially stable, but they had already put so much Yen towards Yuuri's failed skating career that the raven haired man didn't want to burden them any more than he already has. A 2 hour commute to and from the university was the least he could do to repay his parents for their wasted efforts.

A sudden chill rolled through his spine, his instincts telling him to look up as he felt another pair of eyes was on him. He brought his auburn gaze up from the bright screen to the crowd surrounding him, watching for anything suspicious.

Nothing.

The other passengers were all occupied in their own worlds, mainly staring off into space or messing around on their phones. No one quickly looking away or any signs that someone had been staring at him in the first place. He looked back down at his phone, frowning a few seconds later as the feeling was not going away. Yuuri tried to ignore his gut's intuition as best as he could and returned to his cell phone. Even if he was in danger, he was surrounded by witnesses. Not to mention Mari had forced him to learn basic self-defense.

"You never know when you'll need it." She had told him.

He returned to his phone, flicking his thumb over the screen through Phichit's Instagram. Phichit had posted another photo of himself with Guang Hong and Leo about an hour ago. The three were side by side holding up peace signs with the exception of Phichit's extended arm for the selfie. There were bright smiles from all of them, gracing their handsome faces further for the photo that garnered around 20,000 likes and many approving comments so far. The next photo was of Guang Hong and Phichit smiling by the rink, both looking adorable. Plenty of likes and approving comments on that too. A video of what looked like Phichit skating was below that, probably posted by Celestino to give a preview to a new free program his student was working on. So much support from his wonderful fan-base…

Yuuri released the support for a moment so he could like and comment the most recent photo featuring his friends. His fingers moved quickly and rhythmically, bouncing over the screen as the English letters quickly formed into words. Mid-way through, the train braked and the force of the stop nearly knocked Yuuri over. However, instead of floor he was met with a hard chest and two arms around him.

"Are you okay?"

The voice, it was familiar. Smooth with a thick accent to it, usually greeting him enthusiastically or asking what something meant in the one class they shared. Yuuri froze almost instantly as one person came to mind. He brought his gaze up, fearing that this was the person his head immediately thought of. The one person he'd been trying to avoid all week…

Beautiful ocean blue met auburn, a tusk of silver hair covering the left side of his face while his eyes were laced with concern.

Damn it…

"V-Victor! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to fall on you!" Yuuri apologized quickly as he immediately righted himself, bowing to Victor as his words shot out.

His cheeks had flushed red, from embarrassment or from Victor's presence even he was unsure. The other man stood in a black scarf, deep V-neck gray shirt and a black coat which looked to have an expensive flourish. Adorning this were a pair of navy blue jeans, a black belt, and dress shoes. He looked like a model in comparison to Yuuri's gray beanie, blue scarf, and brown trench coat. Yuuri could feel himself grow more self-conscious the longer he stood by Victor's side.

Victor's soft chuckle sounded like music to his ears. "It's okay Yuuri, really. If I had known it was you I would have approached you sooner."

Victor was here this whole time? Why didn't he notice sooner?!

"O-Oh. Do you take this train a lot?" He decided to ask.

"I just started actually. I wanted to familiarize myself with this mode of transportation in case I need to use it. Passing by the towns is almost like sight-seeing! And yourself?" Victor asked him in return, smile to his face.

Yuuri pushed the button on his phone to lock it and placed it in his pocket. He didn't want to be rude in Victor's company. "I take this train every day I have classes… I wanted to live at home while I go to university to save a bit of money."

Which wasn't much, but more than what he'd have if he chose to dorm with another student. He had his allowance for working at the inn, and though his position as a skate instructor at the Ice Castle didn't pay that well, it was better than having nothing to fall back on.

Victor nodded once in acknowledgment of the information. "It's not a hassle for you, is it?"

"Not really. The commute is long, but it's not that bad."

"How long do you usually have to ride to get home?" Victor asked this time, a curious gleam in his eyes.

"Um, about 2 hours; 2 and a half if the train is slow." Victor's mouth dropped in surprise at his answer.

"Really? There's no other way to get there quicker?"

"No… But, um. Where are you going?" Yuuri didn't want the conversation to be just about him.

"No clue!" Victor chirped, earning a look of confusion from the brunette.

"Huh?"

"I have no idea where I'm going. I just want to see where this train takes me." Victor was joyous in his words and so carefree, like he wouldn't get stranded in a country he still had some issues speaking the language.

"Aren't you afraid of getting lost?" Yuuri had a hint of concern lacing his voice.

"Are you worried about me Yuuri?"

'Of course I am!' His thoughts screamed. "Well, yes. You still ask me questions about what things say and… and, well… I don't want you in a panic later because you don't know where you are."

"You don't think I can find my way around? You wound me Yuuri." As Victor finished off his sentence, he placed the back of his hand on his forehead and looked away in a dramatic manner.

"Nonono! I just want you to be safe is all!"

Victor chuckled again, "Yuuri! If you're so concerned, why don't you explore with me?"

"E-Explore, with you?"

His heart began to race at the idea of being with Victor for the evening, running around the city and having a good time. However, Victor's soul mate was out there, ready to be accepted and loved by the man they were soul bound to once the Russian man had his chance. He hated that he wanted something more with Victor despite the fact he had a soul mate he was pursuing. Yuuri wasn't going to get in the way of that; his stupid little crush wasn't going to ruin the potential friendship he had with the other. He couldn't let it.

"That'd be nice, but I have schoolwork to do and I have to help around my parents' inn." Yuuri said then added.

"Another time then?" Victor had such a hopeful gleam in his eyes. Yuuri couldn't resist.

"Sure… Um, here." Yuuri pulled out his phone again, hands trembling a bit at what he was going to suggest. "Maybe we should exchange numbers, so we can figure out a day? And you can call if you need help with something while you explore and- and yeah…"

'What are you doing? You're going to ruin it with your stupid crush. He has a soul mate. You will never be happy just being his friend.' Yuuri's thoughts seeped into his head one by one, fogging his judgment into thinking that this was a bad idea.

Victor's eyes were a little wide and his mouth slightly parted at Yuuri's suggestion, a faint hue of pink on his cheeks before his smile shined in its joy. "Of course, of course!"

Yuuri and Victor traded phones to input their numbers. The silver haired man had been ready for Yuuri to tell him out loud, but the latter didn't feel comfortable saying his phone number out loud when so many people could hear it. Despite his failed career, he was still well known by figure skating fans for his career and for Japan for representing them at some point. He had to be careful saying his personal information out loud.

He quickly entered his contact info into Victor's phone, ready to hand it back but his companion didn't seem to be finished yet. So he waited.

Victor tapped the buttons as best as he could. Though he looked calm and collected the trembling of his hands and fingers gave away something else. Yuuri dismissed this for the weather, since it was pretty chilly outside.

Once the taller man was finished, they exchanged phones once again with smiles on their faces.

"Thanks Victor, I-um, I hope we can meet up soon."

'As friends.'

"Me too! I don't get to see you on campus much, but I'd like to get to know you better." A shine in his eyes as he spoke and his smile was wide. Dusk's glow gave the other's features a sense of warmth to his cool appearance.

'As friends...'

"R-Really?" Yuuri's heart skipped a beat.

'He has a soul mate waiting. Quit getting your hopes up.'

A quick nod from Victor.

'They're going to fall in love.'

"Thanks… Oh," Yuuri looked up, seeing that his stop was coming up,"uh, I'll see you later… I'll text you my next free day, okay?"

"Of course Yuuri; don't hesitate to call or text if you just want to talk. As I said, I'd like to get to know you better."

He winked at Yuuri, successful in turning the smaller man's cheeks a deep red. Was this just the man's natural charm teasing him again?

'You're just friends. You're setting yourself up for heartbreak.'

'You know he has a soul mate.'

'Don't expect Phichit or anyone else to help pick up the pieces when he and his soul mate inevitably fall in love. Who would leave their fated person for a nobody anyway?'

With an exchange of goodbyes, Yuuri stepped off the train and started his journey back home. A dull ache in his chest again… An all too familiar burn in his eyes after his conversation with Victor. Was the universe messing with him now? Was fate just teasing him with the opportunity to get close to Victor, but not in the way he wanted?

He shook his head a bit as if it would stop his thoughts. Yuuri felt the tears brim his eyes over a man who was way out of his league and it was beginning to annoy him.

Many people have gotten into a relationship with the person they love most, break up, and die old with that regret.

Many people have discovered that their one true love is cheating on them with another person.

Many have to watch from the sidelines as the one they love disregard them completely and become happy with another person, or watch them suffer from the toxic relationship they can't leave.

And here Yuuri was, crying over a crush who he knew he'd never have a chance with since the start. So why did the tears come? He's had his time alone in his room to let out his sadness. He's accepted this and is happy that Victor will be happy for the rest of his life with someone who was made for him. So why? Why? The one emotion he'd rather not feel was the one he was becoming familiar with.

He removed his blue lensed glasses for a moment and quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his trench coat. Yuuri made quick work of it and didn't stop walking. Dusk had passed and the skies were becoming dark. He needed to hurry home unless he wanted to risk danger, even though Hasetsu wasn't known for crimes.

So he kept walking.

Another sudden chill and the slight tingle in between his shoulder blades. Yuuri quickly looked behind him this time, setting his glasses back on his face as quickly as he turned to try and get a glance at what his body was warning him about.

Nothing. Again.

Yuuri wasn't going to call out to whoever it was that might be behind him. A mugger? Some creep? Someone who recognized him and wanted an autograph? He didn't know nor did he want to find out. The fan could make themselves known, but Yuuri wasn't going to find them and hope it was what he hoped for.

He pulled out his phone and looked at the time.

8:34 PM.

Yuuri went to his contacts and sent Phichit a quick text message.

'Are you busy? I need to facetime someone.'

The message had only sat unread for a couple of seconds before the call came up. He answered it and held the phone out and in front of him. Though it was awkward like this, it let Phichit watch his back.

"Yuuri? Is everything okay?" Phichit quickly asked. He looked a lot taller; he was sitting on the wall in between the ice and the concrete.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Just… uh…"

Yuuri used his middle finger to scratch the right side of his nose of his nose. Phichit gave a nod at that in acknowledgment

The gesture was a secret code he, Phichit, Guang Hong, and Leo shared between each other. It was a silent way to communicate discomfort or a sense of danger if they couldn't say anything out loud. It was very useful when they went out together, or in times like now.

"Hey, what kind of jump should I do in my performance on Saturday?" Phichit spoke up again.

"Salchow." Yuuri only looked away from the screen to make sure he wouldn't trip over anything.

Phichit's question was another code between them. It translated to "What's the danger?"

Salchow was code for "unwanted follower" or "stalker."

Yuuri had never been more thankful to have a protection system in place between himself and his friends.

And so, he continued to walk. He chat with Phichit for what felt like hours, but in the end, he made it home. Yuuri answered his friend's questions regarding school, his life, and a little bit of information here and there about his everyday activities. Minutes passed quickly with the lively conversation, bringing a smile to the young man's face despite the potential danger. Phichit's efforts to distract Yuuri from his could-be follower was working.

"Sooo…" Phichit drawled on before a mischievous little smile crossed his face. "You talk to that guy you like yet?"

"P-Phichit!" His cheeks flushed again.

He hated his body and how reactive it was sometimes.

"Did you?! Did you ask him out yet?" Phichit grew a little more excited. "Pleeaaase tell me you did!"

"Um, no. I can't do that… He, uh" He couldn't say the man found his soul mate. It wasn't his information to share regardless if the name was mentioned, so he stretched the truth just a little bit,"…He's got a boyfriend now, and I really think they're going to get married." Yuuri answered his friend, receiving a sympathetic gaze. He technically wasn't lying, right?

"Oh Yuuri… I'm sorry."

"It's fine. He was so out of my league anyway, it wouldn't have mattered if he was single or not. I'm not-"

"Hey, none of that! He wasn't good enough for you, not the other way around." The Thai man quickly added before Yuuri's negative thoughts could resurface. Phichit had heard this many times and knew exactly what the other was going to say.

"But-"

"Nope! I don't care if he's a walking God. You are a catch and he's missing out on something amazing. Now say it."

"Wh-What?"

"Say it Yuuri. You're a catch and he's missing out." Phichit had that determined look on his face.

"How about no?"

"Come on, Yuuri! Just because your mind is telling you different doesn't mean it's the truth. There's someone out there for everyone, soul bound or not. There are thousands of people out there who will recognize how awesome Yuuri Katsuki is and fight to even get a chance with you. Understood?"

A part of Yuuri didn't believe it, and Phichit knew this, but what the other said did give Yuuri a nice little confidence boost for himself. He nodded once, playing along.

"So say it."

"…"

"Say it Yuuri."

"I-I'm Yuuri Katsuki." Yuuri's voice got softer and he looked around again, rather so no one heard him.

"And what are you?"

"Um… I'm-uh…"

"You can do it!"

"I'm a catch." Yuuri felt his cheeks heat up. This was embarrassing, but at least no one was around to hear them… Unless there was somebody, but he was beginning to suspect his mind was playing tricks on him. Nothing gave any signs that he was being followed and Phichit, who had been monitoring the surroundings behind Yuuri, didn't mention anything out of the ordinary.

"And what else?" Phichit egged him on.

"And I'm a beauty that enraptures the hearts of people everywhere."

A smile as bright as Yuuri's screen and as warm as the photos he posted. Phichit gave him a thumbs up. "And don't you forget it, okay?"

"Yeah… Thanks by the way. I think my mind was just playing tricks on me earlier. About… you know. Salchow."

Yuuri had almost walked past his own home, having been so distracted in his conversation with Phichit. Nonetheless, he was there and if his stalker had been following him, they wouldn't get past Yutopia's gate. Only he, his parents, and Mari held keys to unlock it and the walls were incredibly sturdy for protection reasons.

"You're welcome. I take it you're home now?" Phichit asked him, looking visibly more relaxed now that his friend was safe.

"Yeah. Sorry to interrupt your training."

Phichit waved off his concern immediately. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you. Text later?"

"Yeah."

With that, Yuuri entered Yutopia to study and turn in for the night. Though he told his friend all was okay, the sensation of eyes boring holes into him never left. The chill was ever present, even as he slept in his bed.

Maybe tomorrow things will go back to normal.


	2. Chapter 2

Concentrating had never been a strong suit for him throughout his childhood; a flaw that followed him into his adult life. His mind always tended to wander to something, or someone (usually), that was more relevant to him in the moment. Unless the subject at hand could fully capture and keep his attention, Yuuri would always have something more interesting to think about. Even if he tried to force himself to focus, it never worked. He was never concerned about this though. Not because he didn't want to be, but because he couldn't bring himself to care. Even when his junior high academics were teetering on the edge of "below average," Yuuri Katsuki found himself thinking about someone else. As if his real-life problems didn't exist.

Toshiya and Hiroko knew their son was a smart boy. In Elementary school, he had received rewards for his exceptionally high grades and little certificates of acknowledgment for his work ethic. But when he entered junior high, everything seemed to go downhill. They had never understood why he was getting such poor grades until Yuuri's mother sat down and did homework with him.

It was during her son's literature assignment that he would suddenly pause in his work, as though his body had become stuck in a trance. Yuuri would stare blankly at the page and his hand would trail off from writing down the necessary information into idle scribbling that went off the paper. Hiroko did her best to snap him out of his thoughts, but it took five attempts before she managed to get his attention. She was puzzled and asked if everything was alright. He assured her he was fine then Yuuri went back to work after that, but not for long.

The second time this happened, Hiroko had started to grow suspicious that this daydreaming was the problem. The older woman began assisting her son with the problems on the paper to see if he didn't understand the questions, or maybe he was just spacing out from boredom. She spoke to him and kept asking him questions to keep him involved.

The third time this occurred, she grew worried that perhaps this spacing out wasn't Yuuri's fault but rather a mental condition. The fourth time in the same evening that she nearly had to scream for Yuuri's attention, Hiroko was certain that her son's inability to focus was something he couldn't control. She told Toshiya about this when the assignments were done and Yuuri went to bed.

The root of the youngest Katsuki's problem was making itself known; Hiroko and Toshiya could start taking the appropriate steps to putting a name to it and hopefully helping their son.

Yuuri was taken to a child psychologist under the suspicion that he may have attention deficit disorder, or ADHD as it's more commonly known. After hearing about the problem, the therapist decided to give a test and have a conversation with Yuuri to see if he showed any symptoms.

The raven-haired teen was spoken to and watched throughout the session, but in the end, the woman could see no other major signs that this was an attention disorder and decided not to have a psychiatrist prescribe any medication to Yuuri, much to the disbelief of the parents. From what she saw, Yuuri did have times of daydreaming but he was never stuck in them as Hiroko claimed he was. He was aware of what they were doing and Yuuri did a good job passing what the psychologist gave him. She could only tell them that Yuuri just had a very active imagination that he found more interesting than his real life.

 _"This is normal for teens his age."_ She had told his parents, but both his mother and father didn't believe that spacing out for nearly hours on end was normal.

The woman gave the Katsukis a list of suggestions to help Yuuri concentrate better and sent them on their way with her phone number in case they needed to talk again.

Toshiya and Hiroko threw that number away when they got home and decided they wouldn't go to her again. Since the therapy session was expensive, the family would have to wait a while before they could take Yuuri to another. He told them not to worry about it and assured them that he would be fine. They believed him.

To this day, his parents and sister still think it to be an issue of Yuuri having something undiagnosed. Yuuri, on the other hand, learned this was the case, but nothing textbook from his research. He kept that piece of information to himself to keep from worrying his family. They had better things to do than to listen to his theories and paranoia.

The spacing out had begun when he first felt himself light up in Yuuko's presence more than he had in Elementary school. It was a strange sense of happiness, like a trigger for a euphoric pleasure to spread throughout his body. She would cloud his thoughts and judgment, forcing Yuuri to stop paying attention to whatever it was he was doing. Instead, he would try to focus on what he felt for her or what he should do about it. His grades suffered, but at the time, Yuuri didn't care. He knew he should, but he didn't. He would rather think about her sparkling brown eyes and beautiful features. How her whole demeanor seemed to change when she snorted mid-laugh into adorable embarrassment or the way she stayed so gorgeous even when she cried. How the two of them would be happy together in the future if he could just work up the courage to confess to her. Yuuri didn't stop to think it may be strange to be thinking of a potential romantic interest every day of the week for long periods of time. It didn't matter to him. She was the only thing that mattered…

But then she started dating Takeshi, and all of his fantasies were crushed beneath their feet.

Yuuri, now, knew it was for the best that she stay with their friend; the man she eventually grew to love, marry, and have three children with. But in the past, the bitterness of it all had been very much present within his core. What did Yuuko see in Takeshi? Was it his beady eyes? His jaw that was wider than the gates of Yu-topia? Or maybe it was his nose that could blow all of Hasetsu away in one sneeze? He didn't know why she chose him, but Yuuri knew he couldn't change anything.

He wanted to do… unspeakable things. Desires underlying the bubbling hatred and heartbreak he was suffering. Desires that scared him even today.

When Yuuri sought sanctuary in nowhere else but his bedroom, he was brooding about these ideas that never left him alone. He even contemplatedthe worst ones and mentally kicked himself for ever thinking that way.

A constant ache swallowed his chest; an emotional pain that Yuuri grew familiar with every time he saw his crush and friend happy together. A part of him wanted to see their relationship fall in the worst way possible. A tragedy of broken love and trust that spiraled into nothing more than memories of what they once had. Yuuko would be happy with him, and Takeshi would find some other girl to love. A perfect ending for the budding romance between them, or so Yuuri had first believed.

But… it was wrong to think like that.

He realized that these thoughts were a toxic viewpoint of his friends and knew he could never let them be known. They'd cut all ties with him if they knew how jealous he was of their relationship. They'd cease communication if they knew the kind of ideas that went through his mind. He'd lose Yuuko completely.

So, Yuuri bottled up all of these emotions. He learned to conceal his feelings and instead focused on just how happy Yuuko was after being with Takeshi. She smiled a lot more. She had an extra skip to her step and blushed at the very mention of her then boyfriend's name. As time passed, her feelings for him never changed but instead grew stronger. Yuuko loved him so much, more than she ever would Yuuri.

Takeshi had more to him as a character than Yuuri ever did. He was strong, kind, and his sense of humor always tickled Yuuko in the right ways. Sure he wasn't the most handsome man on the planet, but appearance wasn't everything. Takeshi had a wit and charm to him that Yuuri could never hold a candle to, whereas Yuuri himself constantly needed reassurance to remember that he was an okay individual. He was fat, so pale he looked sickly, and the only thing he had going for him was his doe-like auburn eyes. Takeshi was better in every way, and thus, he was the better man for the most beautiful girl Yuuri had seen even to this day.

The raven haired man pushed his bitter thoughts and selfishness aside so he would not lose his best and only friends permanently. Pretending to share in their happiness had become routine for Yuuri until the painful ache in his chest subsided, as did his feelings for Yuuko. The day it came, the raven-haired man was able to smile like his old self again. The first time he had been able to truly appreciate Yuuko's and Takeshi's love had been on their wedding day, with Yuuri standing beside Takeshi as his best man. Watching the girl he once considered to be the love-of-his-life exchange vows with another man felt… invigorating. As if shackles had been taken off of him. Yuuri was finally able to let go and smile with his friends. He was able to share in this special day with them.

His speech for their wedding, one of many, had been the most heartfelt that day; he was certain.

But now, Yuuri feared he was stuck in the situation he thought he'd never have to endure again. This time with a certain Russian that had been invading his mind ever since the two first spoke. They've spoken to each other before as acquaintances, but even that was enough to make him realize that he liked the silver-haired man more than he should. Victor didn't even have to try hard before Yuuri wanted to fall to his knees in front of him.

The familiar pleasure was blossoming in his chest again, and he hated it.

He knew Yuuko since he was a child and had only developed feelings for her when he was 13; puberty most likely playing a role in that. So why was Victor worming his way into Yuuri's heart so quickly? When the raven haired man barely knew who Victor was as a person? He was just attracted to his classmate's appearance and the charm that captured the rest of the campus, but there was nothing else that could justify his affection. He barely knew Victor. He shouldn't feel this way. He didn't want to feel this way. Not after what happened with Yuuko. Victor had a soulmate. It wasn't going to end the way he wanted it to. Yuuri couldn't put himself through that pain again.

 _"Hello! I hope I am not bothering you, but I would like help if you have the time?"_

That was all he said. All that it took for Yuuri to notice the Russian's otherworldly beauty and cheerful demeanor. His eyes, his face, his hair, and just how kind and polite he was from their first conversation.

Of course, Yuuri made a fool of himself.

 _"Y-Yes, of course… H-H-How can I help you?"_

Yuuri had wanted to sound at least a little bit confident in his tone of voice, but instead, it came out mousy and soft-spoken. He was certain Victor had to lean in to hear him. Seeing the Russian watch him so closely made him have the sense that he was leaving a bad impression.

 _"It's my first day here and I wanted to know if you can help me find my class?"_

He tried to speak coherently at the time, he really did. Yuuri wanted to at least be polite to the foreigner and give him a good first experience in a Japanese university. But, luck was not on his sides.

 _"Uh-Um. Y-Yes-sure I-uh… U-Um, how…"_

Yuuri tried his best, but words kept evading him. He had been so embarrassed to be in Victor's presence at the time. The raven-haired man just wanted to run away and hide as the conversation just turned more awkward.

 _"I'm searching for my Mathematics class with . Class..B381?"_

 _"S-S-Sure-okay-yeah. I-I have-have-uh-U-h um.."_

He didn't trust his voice after that and silently gestured Victor to follow him. Yuuri refused to look at him the rest of the way even though the silver-haired man kept trying to have a conversation with him. As to not be completely rude, Yuuri did give him short answers to his questions. Victor didn't want to have any of it and asked him more complex questions as they walked. Though the Russian could have ceased the conversation attempts and just let the moment be silent, he wouldn't allow it. He kept Yuuri talking. He made sure Yuuri left his side with a smile and a blush on his cheeks. Victor unknowingly made sure the raven-haired man went home with nothing but him on his mind…

It was torture.

Yuuri left a bad impression, he was sure of it. Victor must have believed him to be the socially awkward guy who never leaves his house much. But even after their first conversation, Victor always tried to have a conversation with him. They shared Math class, so there was at least one day where the two could interact and Victor seemed intent on taking the opportunity every time he saw Yuuri. The raven-haired man, for once, felt like his body would explode in euphoria whenever he and Victor spoke. It was one of the many things that Yuuri couldn't get over after meeting him. It wasn't healthy to be so… so…

So…

He didn't even want to say the word.

Victor's soulmate was out there, and Victor knew who he was. He was going to spend time with him so that the two could fall in love and live happily ever after together. The very idea of the silver-haired man being happy with another person… It was Yuuko all over again. Why did it come to this though? Why did his mind and body betray him like this? He shouldn't be so infatuated with Victor when there were so many reasons not to be.

It wasn't fair!

Who was Victor's soulmate anyway? Maybe he saw them around campus? Victor hung out with a lot of people; all of them were good looking. Was it one of them?

Yuuri wanted to see them so he could do a judge of character. If he saw just how nice, beautiful, and wonderful a person Victor's soulmate was, he would be able to let his feelings die in peace. It would remind him that his crush was going to be happy for the rest of his life, and his attraction was purely physical. His happiness wouldn't be with Yuuri; it was never meant to be with him.

The idea of asking Victor out before he and his soulmate got together did cross his mind a few times, but it was a stupid idea. It was the equivalent of asking out a married man you barely knew and crossing your fingers in the hopes that he'll say yes. The chances were ridiculously high that Yuuri would be rejected, and even if by some miracle he wasn't, nothing good would come from their relationship. Victor was in love with someone else. Yuuri needed to let go. For his sake, for Victor's sake, and for his heart's sake.

 _"Katsuki-san?"_ A soft men's voice spoke in Japanese, interrupting whatever thought was going to come next.

Yuuri looked up from his notes to see his teacher, Mr. Kojima, standing next to his desk. The rest of the class was looking at him, dozens of gazes on him. He looked up at his teacher, brown eyes meeting worried gray. His teacher was a short and thin man with black hair styled in a side part and thick circle glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He bore a couple of wrinkles around his eyes, forehead, and mouth, with slightly tan skin. He wore a white short sleeved button up shirt with a blue tie and black slacks.

The older man looked down at Yuuri, obviously concerned about the younger man. Katsuki sat up so he could see his teacher

 _"Y-Yes Kojima-san?"_ Yuuri returned.

 _"Are you alright? I said your name four times but you didn't answer."_

Yuuri looked down in his embarrassment then back up to his teacher. God, what just happened? _"E-Everything is fine, I'm sorry for disrupting the class."_ Yuuri bowed his head as he apologized.

 _"It's fine Katsuki-san. If you're not feeling well, please don't hesitate to visit the infirmary."_

 _"Yes, sir…"_

How humiliating.

Yuuri's gaze turned back to his notes, then up to the board where Mr. Kojima was resuming the lesson. Numbers and practice problems covered the white surface with blue marker ink. The raven-haired man's eyes widened behind his glasses, the realization that he missed way more than half the notes gave him a miniature heart attack. He picked up his pencil and started writing quickly; Damn his stupid imagination…

By the end of the class, Yuuri could only sigh in his frustration with himself. Once again, his wandering mind prevented him from succeeding in his classes. Instead, he was left with half a sheet of notes and a sense of panic gradually creeping in on him.

Yuuri was sitting at a small white round table in the student lounge, taking his time to think of what he was going to do. He couldn't go home with just half a sheet of notes; he barely understood what he had written down from his frantic writing as is. A few students occupied the rest of the tables as well, nose deep in their books or assignments. None of them were people he recognized, but he had to suck it up and see if anyone could help him out. Yuuri took the time to ask around, but none of them had Mr. Kojima's class at all, much less share it.

Yuuri slouched in his chair with his face resting in his hands, wondering what he was going to do about his missing notes. He didn't know anyone else in this college well enough to hope they will trust him with their notebook… He only knew one guy here well enough to ask, but Yuuri knew he didn't have Mr. Kojima's class. He was learning something different from Mrs. Ikeda.

Of course, anyone else would think to do the obvious and receive the notes from his teacher and that be the end of that, but there was a problem. Yuuri's teacher had horrible organization skills. He was certain that even before he left the classroom the notes were long gone until Mr. Kojima could dig them up. Even if Yuuri offered to help, his teacher may not be happy to have a student be able to glance at test answers and sensitive information. He would more than likely ask Yuuri to wait while he searched for the answers himself.

He didn't have all day, so his options had become slim.

The only one option he could really rely on to get some form of information was the internet, but he couldn't exactly trust it now could he? He didn't understand his teacher's lesson well enough to know whether someone had messed with the online articles or not. For all he knew, someone could have tampered with everything he needed to learn just to make a college student's life a little more miserable. He couldn't risk that when his "just average" grade would be hit hard with a zero percent.

As he had his internal struggles, a familiar person walked up to his table with a smile. One that quickly snapped his attention from nothing to the person. It was a face he usually only saw on Wednesdays, but Yuuri was more than happy to welcome him in his time of need.

 _"Hey, Yuuri! I didn't expect to see you here."_ Takanori said in Japanese, pulling out a chair and sitting across from his friend. He was about Yuuri's height wearing his soccer club's blue and yellow uniform. His black hair was styled in a pompadour spikey style, reminding Yuuri of a certain K-Pop singer he had forgotten the name of. He'd have to ask later.

Yuuri sat up completely, forcing himself to snap out of his previous internal crisis so he could smile and greet the other. _"Hi Taka. I thought you'd be at practice right now?"_ He said in Japanese.

 _"Yeah, but it was delayed. Coach needed to finish up some paperwork he fell behind on."_ As Taka spoke, he pulled up his back and rummaged through to get out his notebook and assignments to work on. _"The poor guy is biting off more than he can chew."_

 _"Why? What else is he doing?"_

 _"He teaches weight training, coaches the soccer club, and I think he's helping another student open the book club. Turns out Coach Ueda is a romance novel connoisseur."_ Takanori placed a thick textbook next to his journal then flipped open and thumbed through his notebook quickly. It stopped on loose leaf paper covered in English writing, what Yuuri recognized to be conversation questions. Yuuri nodded once in acknowledgment at the new information Takanori told him, though he was a bit surprised to hear it. Who would have expected the stereotypical coach to have a soft spot for romantic novels?

 _"Do you know if he can juggle all that?"_ Yuuri asked his friend, who shrugged at that.

 _"I'm sure he can. I mean, why would he help out if he doesn't have the time, you know?"_ He asked the other with a smile.

Yuuri looked through his bag as well to see if he could find anything that could help him in his own dilemma. Then an idea struck him. His soccer-playing friend had not just a team he was close to, but several friends besides Yuuri. Maybe he could help? _"Maybe he's trying to be nice? I don't know… Um, hey, Taka?"_

 _"What's up?"_

 _"I've got a problem. I, um, spaced out during my financial accounting class and I only have half the notes to it. I wanted to ask if you could see if someone on your team had Mr. Kojima's class..?"_ Yuuri trailed off at the question, realizing that this was stupid and he was just bothering Takanori with something that wasn't his fault at all.

 _"N-Nevermind. I'll figure something-"_

 _"Nonono, Yuuri it's fine,"_ Taka was quick to interject Yuuri mid-sentence. _"I'll ask my team and I'll shoot you a text later."_ He smiled at Yuuri as if to reassure him.

 _"Uh, are you sure?"_

 _"Positive! I don't mind, I promise."_ Takanori turned his gaze from Yuuri back down to his work. _"Got lost in thoughts again you said?"_

Yuuri slumped in his chair and sighed. At least his notes problem was solved, but with Taka's question, he knew exactly what was coming. _"Y-Yeah… I started overthinking some stuff when I sat down and before I knew it, Mr. Kojima was at my desk and class was almost over..."_

 _"Really?!"_ The athlete softly exclaimed, pausing in his assignment as he looked up, "Are your thoughts just you falling asleep with your eyes open?" Takanori gave Yuuri a look of shock at the news he received. _"Classes are 3 hours long Yuuri! How are you so capable of getting stuck in a trance for that long?"_

Yuuri shrugged his shoulders. _"I don't know. It's been like that since I was a teenager and I haven't grown out of it yet."_

 _"You said you got checked for it, right?"_

Yuuri nodded in confirmation. _"The psychologist said that it was just my hyperactive imagination. She gave us some tips on how I can concentrate better and her phone number."_

 _"I really think you got a bad psychologist."_ Takanori looked back down at his assignment again, writing left to right in what looked to be responses to the English questions.

 _"Maybe, but it doesn't matter now."_

 _"Yes, it does. To be honest, I think you should see another one. Maybe the next psychologist will say something different and you'll find out why this keeps happening."_

Takanori had brought this up before because he was concerned about the other's mental health. Yuuri didn't blame him though; he wasn't the only one to approach him with these concerns. Phichit said the same thing when they were sharing an apartment together in Michigan. The Thai skater kept telling him that he should consider visiting a therapist or a psychiatrist that could prescribe him some medication. Or that he should see the psychologist for the sake of putting a name on whatever it was bothering him if it wasn't ADHD. Spacing out for long periods of times wasn't healthy and it wasn't something that could just "go away." The raven-haired man never mentioned to his friends and family specifically what was on his mind, or that after Yuuko married he didn't space out as often as he did before.

It seemed that he only thought about the person he was infatuated with or anything relating to them. To the point where Yuuri was beginning to scare himself.

His friends were right, it wasn't normal. But, if they knew the truth, they'd cut ties with the creeper that was Yuuri Katsuki. They wouldn't want to associate themselves with someone like him…

Yuuri pulled out his phone to check the time really quickly, _"It's not anything terrible-"_

 _"Yes it is Yuuri. You missed three hours worth of notes for a class you're almost failing because your mind wandered. If the "three hours" part isn't concerning, then the "almost failing a class you need to graduate" is. I'm not trying to be a naggy mom here, but seeing a therapist would really be a good idea."_

It would also get him and Phichit to quit asking about therapy and that he should go. He wanted to do it just so the two could drop it and quit bringing it up, but it was time and money Yuuri couldn't afford to lose right now. He needed to study and try to improve his grades. Victor was overwhelming him, despite him having a soulmate, and it was driving him mad. He needed to learn to adapt or else he risked becoming a college dropout.

It was nothing medication could solve, and it was nothing Yuuri could tell them without coming across as…abnormal. He had to say something or risk Taka nagging him again in the near future.

 _"Okay. I'll go to a psychiatrist this weekend and ask about a session. Okay?"_ Yuuri said to his friend, who looked up from his assignment back to Yuuri as if to make sure the other wasn't joking.

 _"You're serious?"_

 _"Yeah. You're not the only one who says I should see a therapist… It's not that I haven't put any thought into it, it's just… I don't want to become a project if it turns out they don't know what's going on. The first one didn't find anything, what if this one can't find anything and wants to "study" me?"_ It was a legitimate concern he had back when he was 15, but it wasn't something he was worried about now. He had gone through this with rational thinking to reassure himself that this could not happen. It was only when he realized that wherever he went, he could not be studied without permission. He used this excuse mainly so he had a reason to give his friends for not following their advice.

 _"Don't worry Yuuri. They can't study you if you don't let them. The law wouldn't allow it."_ Takanori's attention had gone back to his English assignment. _"Do you want some moral support when you go?"_

 _"No thank you, really. I know if I need the support I can just give you a call or a text."_ Yuuri assured him.

He wasn't going to go. Yuuri didn't want Takanori to be worrying about something that wasn't going to affect him in any way, and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

 _"Okay. Just know I'm always ready to support you if you need it."_

 _"Thanks Taka, I really appreciate it."_ Yuuri truly meant it. In a large campus where he had no other friends, Takanori really was a breath of fresh air.

 _"Yeah, no worries. You're important to me, and I want to see you at your happiest. Keep me updated when you go."_

Yuuri smiled at that and thanked the other again for his kindness.

The two stayed and talked for about an hour before Takanori received a text to go to the soccer field. They said their goodbyes and once again Yuuri was left alone. However, his troubles were up in limbo, with the chance that Takanori could be the savior he needed. The raven-haired man had come to the student lounge on the off chance that a student who had Mr. Kojima would be there and be willing to let him take pictures of their notes. Though he wasn't able to get notes from anything, there was a chance his friend could provide him with what he needed. Yuuri had never been so thankful to have a friend on campus; especially one as kind as Taka.

The train ride back to Hasetsu was uneventful, save for a strange tingling against his back, forcing him to look up and around every 10 minutes or so. Yuuri always put his back towards the door of the train if possible to prevent pickpocketing or sexual harassment, even though he had a better chance of someone coming up to him and politely asking to do what they wanted. He felt some comfort that no one would get him from behind, but that didn't necessarily guarantee his safety. If someone was watching him, all they'd have to do is come up and they'd have him cornered in the train.

Yuuri would have dozens of witnesses in his favor, but it wouldn't guarantee his safety if things went bad...

 _"I'm home,"_ Yuuri called out into the inn in Japanese, where his father and sister were in the dining hall waiting for the customers to come for lunch. He was able to return home safely that afternoon. This time, he was able to go home comfortably instead of looking behind him every 10 seconds.

 _"Welcome back Yuuri."_ His father greeted him with a warm smile. _"How was your day?"_

Yuuri was removing his shoes and putting on his house slippers next to the door. _"Good. How was the inn?"_

 _"Same as usual."_ Toshiya said to the other and Mari nodded in agreement.

 _"Not much business, but we had something to do at least,"_ Mari spoke, currently sitting at one of the kotatsu with her father. Football (or soccer in America) was playing on the nearby television. Both seemed enraptured by the game.

 _"Better than nothing."_ Yuuri set his shoes aside, ready for when he had to go out again. _"I'll be in my room. I have a lot of work to do."_

Mari waved him off, _"Mom's making lunch. I'll let you know when it's done."_

Yuuri thanked her and went to his room without another word. He dropped his bag next to his desk and the raven-haired man sat down. After a quick glimpse of his clock, he saw that it was approaching 2 P.M. Phichit, Guang Hong, and Leo were all dead asleep right now. Texting a friend would have to wait…

Victor.

There in his contacts was Victor's name, ready to be messaged. Yuuri almost forgot that he and the Russian man exchanged numbers yesterday; had he remembered he might have messaged Victor back when he was in the student lounge. Victor was also popular… Maybe he could help? Just find out if someone had Mr. Kojima and that was that. No need for more conversation.

He pressed Victor's name and tapped the text message icon. However, before he could begin typing he had a moment's hesitation. Victor had said on the train he wanted to get to know Yuuri; what if he tried to have a conversation with him? Yuuri had been doing his best to see Victor less and less ever since he overheard the phone conversation and the train ride… He thought with his heart instead of his head at the time… Would it be rude if he didn't message Victor at all after this?

Wait, why was he thinking Victor would care whether or not they spoke again? Victor had more important things to worry about. Even if he said that he'd like to get to know Yuuri, there was still the possibility he was saying it to be nice or make conversation…

 _'Hey Victor, do you know anyone who has Mr. Kojima's financial accounting class?'_ Yuuri wrote then sent the message before he could change his mind. It was just a question. It wasn't an invitation to a conversation, it was a question. Nothing else.

In a few seconds, Yuuri's phone chimed to alert him to a new text. His eyebrows rose a little at how fast the response was, but he thumbed through the phone and tapped it open.

 _'I think someone I know might have him. Why?'_

Yuuri quickly tapped out his next message. _'I need to get today's notes. Could you ask to send me pictures if possible?'_

He was happy not to be in Victor's presence right now. Texting was much easier, and it would keep Yuuri from saying something stupid. Here he could be direct and to the point instead of the stuttering mess he had been back when they first spoke to each other.

Another chime and Yuuri checked the new message from Victor. _'Of course! Let me ask.'_

It took just that message for him to realize his breathing was off. His eyes widened and his hand went to his chest to confirm his suspicions.

Badum badum badum badum badum…

Yuuri set the phone down and took a deep breath, a rough and quick beating against his chest forced him to take a moment to relax. If he didn't, he was certain he'd go into early cardiac arrest.

He took a breath, repeating the breathing exercises that he had learned for his anxiety attacks. The steadiness of it assisted in not just relaxing his body, but it allowed him to stop and sort through his cluttering thoughts.

1…2…3…4… Breathe… 1…2…3…4…And out… Repeat…

It was Yuuko all over again, and Yuuri couldn't do a damn thing about it.

1…2…3…4… Breathe… 1…2…3…4…Out… One more time…

Yuuri didn't know why he cared so much for a man he hardly knew, or why he seemed incapable of functioning without thinking about him. Even if he tried to get it out of his mind, it just came back. It was annoying to Yuuri that his situation was taking over his ability to concentrate, and soon enough it would interfere with his graduation status if he didn't get control over it soon enough. This wasn't healthy… Was this really a mental condition or was this just infatuation? Surely nothing would make him like this; not even love…

God, his heart was going crazy and all he did was ask Victor a question. If he had known this, he would have deleted the Russian's number from his phone and prayed to every God out there Taka got him the notes he needed…

When Yuuko texted him in the past, his heart would do the same thing. It would beat so fast in his chest, so loud and so hard Yuuri was certain that he would fall unconscious from the rush. It wasn't like anything he's ever felt before… Was it adrenaline? The sense of nervousness someone would get the moment before they did something dangerous or risky? Whatever it was, Victor was bringing that thrill and panic into him all over again.

Why couldn't it be someone else to do this to Yuuri? Why couldn't it have been a nice, single guy who didn't find his soulmate and was actually interested in him? Why did it have to be a man who was actively pursuing someone else and was way out of his league? It wasn't fair…

He followed his breathing exercises until his heart slowed back to its normal pace… All he had to do was wait and see if Victor or Takanori would message back. For now, the delicious scent of his mother's Udon soup was wafting through the air, giving him the much-needed distraction he had been asking for. Yuuri set up his desk for his assignments, checked his Instagram for any updates on his friends, and then got up to go to the dining area when his sister knocked on his door to join them for lunch.

 _"Yuuri, are you okay?"_ Mari asked her younger brother in Japanese, reaching him before Yuuri entered his bedroom.

He stopped before he could open his door and turned to face his older sister. Lunch had gone by well enough, and Yuuri thought he was involved enough that his family wouldn't suspect something was the matter. Where did he go wrong?

 _"Yeah, everything's fine."_ He tried to assure her but Mari raised an eyebrow at that and put her hands on her hips.

 _"Yuuri…"_ She sounded completely unconvinced.

Yuuri put on a smile and shifted his tone of voice to try and sound genuine, _"Really, everything is okay."_ She still wasn't convinced. Mari kept staring at him until he sighed and gave in. "Just some stuff on my mind is all."

Mari then asked, _"What is it? Something going on at school or...?"_

He had to look away. Yuuri couldn't believe how well his sister could read him. _"How'd you know?"_

 _"It's either something with college or something going on online. You don't exactly go out much Yuuri."_

 _"Thanks Mari."_ Yuuri said sarcastically before he sighed. For a second he considered not telling her, but he knew she would come back to ask him about his problems again at a later time. It was best to just get it out there now than hear about it again. _"I-um… I like this guy at school,"_ He could feel his cheeks heat up in a light blush as he spoke, _"but he's pursuing someone I have no chance against. He's constantly on my mind and I'm getting distracted because of it… I don't think I can keep watching him go for someone else because it's making me jealous. But he's a nice guy and I really want to be friends with him though… Is that a good idea?"_

The entire time, Mari didn't make any faces nor did she give any hints that she was going to mock or tease Yuuri. She stayed completely neutral until her younger brother was finished speaking. _"So that's why you seemed so distant at lunch."_

 _"Y-Yeah… You can see why I couldn't say anything."_ It wasn't that he wanted to keep secrets from their parents, he just didn't want to mention he had a crush on someone to them. His mother and father would get hopes that their son would start pursuing this mystery man; he couldn't do that to them. Yuuri only wanted to mention someone he was actually in a relationship with and the family might get to meet one day.

His parents had high hopes that their children would marry kind and sweet people. Very high hopes. Mari hadn't told him, but Yuuri was well aware that their mother had asked her when she was going to get married and have her own family. He was next to receive these talks the moment a ring was put on his sister's finger.

 _"Understandable. Time is all it takes to get over a crush. Don't outright ignore the guy, but don't go out of your way. Honestly, cutting all ties is the best way to go. But if you_ really _want this friendship, then that's my advice._ " Mari told him.

 _"So, talk to him if the chance presents itself, but don't go overboard?"_ Yuuri asked to make sure, earning a short nod from his sister.

 _"Mm-hm. You don't see him often, do you?"_

Yuuri shook his head a few times, _"No. Once a week because we share a class, but that's about it. He said he wanted to get to know me better. What do I do if he texts me?"_

Mari took a second to think of an answer. _"Friendly chit-chat should be fine Yuuri. You don't plan on talking to him every day of the week, do you?"_

 _"No."_ He responded.

 _"Do you plan on going anywhere with him?"_

Victor's request of exploring with Yuuri came into mind… It wouldn't happen. The raven-haired man wouldn't be able to keep himself composed if he had to spend a day out with Victor. What if he said something he regretted while they were spending time together?

 _"No,"_ Yuuri answered.

 _"Then you'll get over your crush in no time. Sorry it came to this Yuuri, I feel your pain."_ Mari said and reached out to her younger brother, giving him a gentle and reassuring squeeze to his shoulder.

Yuuri smiled at her. _"Yeah, well… It happens, right?"_

 _"Yeah. Do you feel a little better talking about it though?"_

 _"A little bit. I hope talking to Victor will make him a little more friendly and less a romantic interest, you know?"_

Mari nodded a few times before smirking, _"So his name is Victor, huh?"_

Yuuri blushed furiously realizing he gave away his crush's name. _"Y-Yeah… He's a foreign student studying abroad. H-He's really nice and handsome… It sucks he's chasing someone else."_

 _"I know it sucks, but sooner or later your crush will go away. Maybe you'll make a lifetime friend out of him."_

 _"Or maybe I'll never see him again and lose touch."_

Mari shrugged her shoulders. _"Well, friends do come and go, but you never know Yuuri. Mom and Minako have been friends for a really long time and they haven't fallen apart."_

 _"They literally live less than a block away from each other."_

 _"Alright, bad example. What about dad and Mr. Hirose from Nagoya? They still keep in touch even though they live 2 hours away from each other."_ Mari told her brother whose eyes widened.

 _"They still talk to each other?"_ Yuuri asked but then waved his hand to get back on topic. _"But I understand what you're saying. Friends can become for life or they move on. Talk to Victor sparingly but don't ignore him. Thanks Mari."_

 _"You're welcome little bro. Come to me if you need boy advice, okay?"_

 _"Okay. I will."_

Yuuri waved his sister off with a smile and returned to his room where he shut the door behind himself. He sighed but considered his sister's advice to him. Talk to Victor, but not excessively so… Where was the fine line he couldn't cross? He didn't want to seem distant, but he didn't want to make his feelings stronger. Yuuri just wanted to be friends with Victor without this infatuation getting in the way of his life…

He went to his desk and sat down at his desk again. Yuuri quickly checked his phone and saw no new messages, so he decided to begin working on his assignments nonstop. Hopefully, his body would be on his side today and let him complete his work without any issues.

Yuuri's phone chimed with multiple notification tunes, snapping him back into reality. The raven-haired man's hand had barely moved some on the paper. About a paragraph or so in before he completely trailed off the page. Yuuri picked up his phone and pressed the home button, his eyes wide in his panic when he realized the time.

5 P.M. Yuuri had lunch exactly three hours ago. He started his assignment three hours ago but his mind had completely wandered to a certain man before he could stop himself. God, he was going to have to pull an all-nighter if he wanted to get this done before class tomorrow, wasn't he?

He took a moment to relax via his breathing exercises before he checked his phone.

Six new notifications and still going. He opened up the messages to see what was going on. His tapping led him to Victor's name, where the three dots went up and pictures were coming in quickly.

 _'Yuuri! Here are the notes you asked for.'_

And underneath were the three hours worth of notes coming in that Yuuri had missed. The raven-haired man's eyes widened and his smile spread across his lips. Thank God for Victor.

 _'Thank you so much Victor, you're a lifesaver!'_ Yuuri quickly texted the other his appreciation. Now with the notes, he'd have a lot less to worry about. He had the assignments waiting for him, but at the least, Mr. Kojima's class was covered!

The raven-haired man took out his financial accounting notebook and pulled up the pictures to start copying everything down. The chimes were keeping his attention on the task at hand, which Yuuri was so thankful for. He would have to set his phone to go off every five minutes if it meant keeping him focused… Yes, he'd have to start doing that.

Once all of the pictures were delivered, Victor's last text sent to Yuuri. _'You're very welcome Yuuri, I'm glad to help. How are you by the way?_ '

Yuuri stared at the message for a moment when he saw it. Victor wanted to talk to him, as he thought. But with Mari's advice fresh in his brain, and because the Russian was so helpful today, Yuuri decided he owed the other man a conversation at the very least. He owed Victor more than just a conversation, but for now, this would do great… Maybe he should bring Victor some homemade katsudon to show his appreciation?

 _'I'm fine, and you?'_ Yuuri responded, getting back to his work with Victor to keep him company.

Later in the evening, while Yuuri spent his time talking with Victor and enjoying the conversation, he received another text. This time it was from Takanori. He opened the message.

 _'Hey Yuuri. My buddy can't find his notebook right now. I can try to get you the notes tomorrow but it's not guaranteed. I'm sorry about this. He and I will try to find it as soon as we can.'_


	3. Chapter 3

_"Um… I'm finished."_

 _"Alright, let's see… Looks right. Uhh… Yup, you're 100% right, Yuuri. Work and everything is solid. Great job!"_

 _"Really? It's thanks to you that I managed to understand. So thanks."_

Yuuri was seated within the university's library, Takanori right next to him holding the loose leaf paper they had scribbled down the practice problems and step-by-step process for the solution of the equation. Scattered in front of them were pencils, a pair of open spiral notebooks, and an open mathematics textbook on the current lesson being taught in the Katsuki's classroom. Each sheet of paper was filled nearly margin to margin with pencil marks, all being part of multiple separate formulas that he had to decipher and memorize for the past three hours.

Three months ago, it was discovered that Yuuri's college mathematics grade was teetering between 'C' and 'D', which was not only unacceptable for someone who wanted to major in a math-based degree, but for the university. Takanori had caught wind of this (when the former skater accidentally blurted his dilemma), and mentioned to Yuuri that he wanted to be a mathematics teacher as a fallback career (in case something happened that took soccer away). He offered to begin tutoring Yuuri in his lessons if in exchange the Katsuki help Taka become a better teacher. Though he was reluctant to agree, he decided to accept the proposition in the end, much to the joy of his companion.

Now, the weekly tutoring sessions had become routine visits for the two men. Every morning on Wednesday, Yuuri would meet with Takanori in their same spot to discuss the current math lesson and how Yuuri's progress was going grade-wise. At first the tutoring had been embarrassing, but the more he attended, the easier it became. Takanori's guidance was always kind and encouraging instead of that slow and matter-of-fact way experienced teachers would use that unintentionally made students feel stupid. If it was obvious Yuuri was struggling, the soccer athlete would try new ways to help him understand through various scenarios and examples that were more relatable than the book's. If it was admitted that none of it was working, Taka went out of his way to figure something else out. Yuuri sometimes couldn't help but appreciate his friend's adaptive teaching methods.

Despite it all going well, the thought of requiring tutoring for a subject his degree revolved around was asinine. He was supposed to understand these simple formulas by heart, and yet without Taka's help he would have been sitting at a failing grade; perhaps even failed by now. Ridiculous of him that he needed to pull someone else down with him because of his own irresponsibility.

The Katsuki also didn't have the heart to tell Takanori that his spacing out was partly the reason for his abysmal grades and not understanding half of the lessons he was supposed to have memorized, but the voice in the back of his head was telling him that his friend already had a good idea of what was the issue. Perhaps that was why he kept pushing for Yuuri to go to a therapist? So he wouldn't have to keep repeating lessons for someone who wasn't paying attention to the class? Why did Takanori put up with him, if that was the case? It was Yuuri's own fault his grade was sitting where it was. Taka shouldn't be forced to take time out of his incredibly tight schedule to help someone who didn't deserve it.

 _"You're welcome! You've been showing a bunch of progress since we started. Have you been studying on your own?"_ Takanori asked him as he handed the practice problem sheet to Yuuri. Yuuri took the paper and set it into his notebook.

 _"Yeah. I didn't want to make your life harder."_ Yuuri closed the journal and opened his backpack to set the material away.

Taka had gathered his own notebook and the rest of the blank paper they hadn't used. _"Well, you've really improved. It won't be long before your grade gets to an A."_

 _"You think so?"_ Yuuri asked him.

 _"I know so."_

A small sense of pride and happiness had blossomed in his chest hearing those words. Like Phichit, Takanori had a lot of faith in Yuuri's success. When he had quit figure skating competitively, Phichit (though saddened) was behind him every step of the way; from sitting in a call with him while Yuuri selected courses in the booklet to encouraging the opening of the envelope that contained the acceptance letter. Now, if the Thai skater was unavailable, Takanori was there to help along the way. It was… refreshing to have friends support and assist him. This didn't mean his family's support meant nothing to him. Their support, while incredible and irreplaceable, felt almost like an obligation on them. As if they were forced to because they were relatives. It was different when the person supporting you had no other reason to other than because they believed in you.

A loud, shaky vibration that rattled the table startled the two, Takanori reacting quickly and separated his hip from the table leg to silence the disruption immediately. The two wordlessly apologized to the startled and slightly annoyed occupants for disturbing them before Taka looked at the device. He made a face at the screen then sighed. _"I think we're done for today. I have to head to the field early."_

 _"Coach having problems?"_ Yuuri asked while he started collecting his stuff.

 _"Yeah. He's helping with that other club and needs someone to open the locker room."_

The two packed their belongings quickly, the slight sense of embarrassment from the earlier mistake slightly fueling the speed of it. They only stopped until nothing remained on the oak wood table they had occupied. Taka took a moment to quickly mark down specific practice problems on another sheet of paper they had been using that Yuuri had the most difficulty with. Once finished, the paper was handed over.

 _"Just practice this tonight, okay? If you have any problems, shoot me a text and I'll explain as best I can. Or you can YouTube it, whichever you prefer."_

Yuuri took the sheet of paper and let his eyes roam over the chains of numbers and letters for a second. The equations, just like before the tutoring session, boggled his mind like it would reading a language he didn't understand. However, he said nothing aloud about it. Once the problems were fresh in his mind, he opened his bag again and set the paper in between two random pages of his notebook to ensure it would have a safe trip.

 _"Thanks again for your help Takanori. My grade would be really embarrassing if it weren't for you."_

" _Don't sell yourself short."_ A smile crossed the athlete's face as he looked towards the other, "A teacher is only as good as a student is willing to listen. We have your determination and persistence to truly thank for your improvement."

 _"But it was your teaching methods that really helped me understand. Without you, I wouldn't have learned as much as I did."_ Yuuri responded back with his own smile. He placed the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he stood up. Taka did the same though picked up his duffel with his free hand, chuckling at the exchange they were having.

 _"Let's agree that it's my teaching and your determination that got us the progress you made."_

Both nodded once at that.

 _"That sounds fair…"_ Yuuri paused for a moment as a thought drifted to his head.

Last night, Victor had been kind enough to present Yuuri the notes that he so desperately needed and became a lifesaver. The Katsuki immediately thought of giving him katsudon as a thank-you gift, but now that he thought about it, Takanori deserved something more too. His friend had been taking a lot of time out of his busy schedule to help Yuuri with his mathematics. A Kim Junsu poster surely wouldn't be enough for the three months Takanori spent on him… Even though his friend was overjoyed to receive it. Yuuri still owed him.

 _"Hey, Taka… Um, I know this is sudden, but what do you like to eat?"_

 _"Me? Um, seafood, meat in general, anything with noodles, uhh kabayaki, just to name a few. Why?"_

 _"Well,"_ Yuuri tried, but he had to look away as he spoke. The only urge he could resist was twiddling his thumbs. _"You've really helped a lot, and I want to thank you properly again. I was thinking a home cooked meal would be a good idea if that's okay…"_

 _"You want to feed me?"_ Takanori asked with a genuine sense of surprise in his tone of voice, though didn't sound displeased at all. "I'd be honored, but you don't have to. That poster you got me was thanks enough."

 _"I insist."_ Yuuri assured.

 _"I don't want you to go through so much effort for me."_ Taka responded back.

 _"Really, it's no trouble at all."_

 _"I really couldn't take up your time."_

 _"It would be my pleasure. Besides, you've sacrificed a lot of time for me and really helped. Let me return the favor by making you something."_ Yuuri assured him one last time, and this time, the athlete gave a few nods.

 _"Well, okay. Thank you Yuuri, I really appreciate it."_ Takanori's smile had grown slightly, looking sunnier compared to the previous one.

 _"I don't know why I didn't do so sooner."_

Taka opened his mouth, voice caught in his throat for one second in hesitation. However, before Yuuri could speak up the athlete's phone buzzed again. Taka quickly silenced it and looked at the screen again.

 _"Whatever you make I'm sure I'll like it. Anyway, I should really get going. I'll text you later so we can set up a lunch date."_ Takanori paused, realizing what he had just said and a blush bloomed on his cheeks. _"S-Sorry! Sorry, didn't mean to make it sound weird. I'm, uh- also sorry about those notes by the way. My friend can't find his notebook and it's driving him crazy."_

Yuuri chuckled, a small blush on his own cheeks from his friend's earlier wording. He knew Takanori only brought up the notes because he wanted to change the subject. _"It's okay, I know what you meant. Anyway, don't worry about that. I'll keep a lookout for that notebook and let you know if I find it."_ He assured before waving his friend goodbye.

Both exchanged smiles once more, Yuuri watching as his friend checked his phone again and briskly walked out of the library, keeping his head low as he left Yuuri where he stood. The Katsuki briefly wondered if he had said something wrong, or if the home cooked meal idea weirded the athlete out enough to say something like that. Yuuri didn't make things awkward, did he?

With a small sigh, he took out his earphones out of his pocket and connected the plug to the jack of his cell phone. After making his song selection and placing them in his ears, he walked out of the library and off of campus. If he hurried, he could probably catch his train…

"How's college? Same old, same old?" Phichit asked, the quality of his phone's mic a bit lacking due to the fan going on in the background. His room was well lit, making it easier to see the skater in the mess that was his room in the apartment that was once shared.

"Yup. I finally got my mathematics grade up. Hooray for that." Yuuri was seated on his bed against the wall, curtain draped to the side to keep his back from pulling it down. He spoke quietly to his phone, the clock on his nightstand reading '11:45 P.M.' His parents and sister were sleeping right now and he didn't want to accidentally wake them up.

He managed to complete the problems Takanori had assigned to him a few hours ago with a few Youtube videos and (when he realized the Youtubers were overcomplicating things) with the help of Seung-gil. Yuuri had mentioned his homework when Seung-gil got into a call with him while they waited for Phichit to join, and the Korean skater had been the best help he received so far.

Considering the two shared the same passion, one former competitive and one current, Seung-gil used it as the scenarios for each equation and constructed it in a way that would make sense. Just like that, Yuuri was able to understand what he was doing wrong.

Takanori's teaching methods were great, but Seung-gil's scenarios were so dead on for him that the pieces of the puzzle just came together easily. Yuuri knew he was onto something having the two help, he just needed to figure out how he could combine both.

"Great job." Seung-gil commented from his own laptop, back against his dark brown square patterned sofa. A lamp out of frame gave the Korean skater's face lighting so that the screen wasn't relied upon.

"Yeah, great work! Raising your grade is always more a hassle than it is lowering it." Phichit congratulated, earning a smile from Yuuri.

"Thanks guys, but I still have a lot of work to do if I want to raise my GPA… But enough about me. How are you guys? How's your training?" Yuuri asked them. His phone buzzed with a notification though he ignored it.

Phichit's smile was wide at the mention. "It's going great! The "Art of Ice Event" is going as planned so far. Ciao Ciao's been really pushing me to my limits. Not a day where I'm not sore."

"Which is understandable." Seung-gil added.

"Yeah. The event's goal is to introduce how figure skating is more than just a sport by mixing it with some artistic expression more people are familiar with; Art and music. I can't be falling on my butt if I'm trying to impress strangers enough to consider skating as more than just men and women in tights." Phichit finished the explanation and earned a nod from the Katsuki in acknowledgment.

"It sounds like a blast. What do you both have planned?" Yuuri asked his friends, looking up at his screen when he saw he received another notification; this time on his Instagram. He swiped it away in favor of speaking with Phichit and Seung-gil without appearing rude.

Phichit's smile brightened significantly as he started talking. "I went with good ole' Vincent Van Gogh! Ciao Ciao and I are basing my routines around Starry Night, Sorrow, and Road with Cypress and Star."

"I thought you'd want to go with someone from Thailand?" Yuuri commented.

"I did! But have you seen Vasan Sitthiket's artwork? Or Jittagarn Kaewtinkoy's? I can't base my routines off that without getting naked or offending someone! Or both!"

"That bad?" Yuuri asked again, though Seung-gil spoke up this time.

"Their artworks attack society. Kaewtinkoy's features heavy political symbolism and politicians in panties. Sitthiket's features orgies and or attacking world leaders directly, to put it bluntly."

"Art fan?" The Katsuki asked this time earning a subtle shake of the head.

"I was in a call with Phichit when he was researching Thai artists for inspiration, and when he realized he couldn't put light on famous artworks without offending eyes or feelings." Seung-gil answered. Another notification brought Yuuri's eyes up again. He swiped it away as well when he saw it was Facebook this time.

"It's not fair!" The camera quickly moved and whirled until a 'thud' sound followed it. Yuuri had been about to ask if he was okay but the camera soon showed Phichit had plopped on his bed onto his stomach. "I can't show off to art so… out there. That's Chris's thing!"

"You'll be fine. You have your artist, you just need the routines." Panting was heard on Seung-gil's side of the call and a thumping noise. Some words in Korean were heard before the panting stopped and a set of clacking settled down. Yuuri guessed it was Seung-gil's husky coming to join his owner.

"You'll nail that performance." Yuuri assured with a smile. "What about you Seung-gil? Are you going?"

Seung-gil's husky came into frame, bumping the Korean skater's face out of the way before he could answer. Blue eyes were close to the camera before the dog's head moved higher, giving the others a nice view of canine teeth, a lolling tongue, and fog as the dog's warm breath messed with the camera. Phichit and Yuuri both laughed seeing the happy husky force himself into the shot, though the Korean skater gently nudged him out of the way with a command in his native tongue.

"I'm participating with performances based on JeeYoung Lee. A Korean photographer." Seung-gil answered, earning a small 'oh' from Yuuri.

Another notification popped up on his screen. Yuuri wondered where his computer had gone so he could check what was happening on his social media accounts.

"You should see her work Yuuri! She restricts herself to creating designs in her tiny studio and taking pictures of it. She's made a lot of cool stuff!" Phichit said, trying to speak over the noises of Yuuri's phone going off with notifications. "Wow, someone's popular!"

"I'm sorry. I thought I turned off that setting. Give me a sec." Yuuri said then muted the call for a moment. He pulled up the notification bar then started flipping through his phone to check what he was receiving.

First was his Instagram.

 _'Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 15 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 10 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 9 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 9 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 6 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 5 m ago_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your post. 5 m ago_

…'

It went on, but he didn't want to keep scrolling through it all.

Then he checked his Twitter.

' _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo_

 _Aria Vaccaro liked your photo'_

His Facebook had notified him of something as well, but it was gone before he could see it. It was still weird that this person was able to like his Twitter posts so much when he barely made updates. Were they unliking his stuff just to relike it again? What was going on on the other end? Yuuri switched the screen back to Skype, where Phichit and Seung-gil had been having their own conversation while he scrolled through the notifications.

"That Aria girl mass liked my posts again," Yuuri said once the conversation had paused. His gaze studied the two, Seung-gil looking away from the camera with a hand over his mouth, a subtle hint of pink across his pale cheeks and Phichit looking smug. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Nope!" Phichit grinned. "That Aria girl again?"

"Aria?" Seung -gil asked though it was muffled due to his hand.

"Yuuri's admirer." Phichit explained which earned a subtle blush onto Yuuri's own cheeks.

"She's not-" Yuuri began but was interrupted.

"She is! All she does on Instagram is like stuff that involves you. You know she's even liked stuff from my account because you're in the post?" Phichit told his friend with a cheery smile.

"No way! That's so weird… Why would she do that?" Yuuri responded, only for Seung-gil to move his hand and speak up again.

"She's probably a teenager who thinks you're handsome Yuuri. It happens."

Out of all of his friends, Seung-gil was probably the biggest victim when it came to women and girls obsessing over his appearance, so Yuuri had no choice but to believe the man. Most of his social media likes and comments from all of his accounts came from that demographic of people, and Seung-gil being Seung-gil, learned to simply silence his social media and ignore anything he didn't need to know. Chris had teased him once about being the (unwilling) lady's man of their friend group, but Seung-gil shrugged it off even though he knew the Swiss skater was right.

"I mean, I guess, but… I don't know. It's just weird to get a massive amount of likes from one person I don't know within a short time frame. Especially when I'm not a competitive skater anymore. Besides, it doesn't show she likes anything else except me." Yuuri said to them, pushing the 'clear' button again to remove the gradually growing notification list all containing Aria's name somehow.

"If it bothers you that much, you can always block her." The Korean skater suggested though Yuuri shook his head at that.

"I don't think I could do that. She's just being a teenager, assuming she is one. What if I hurt her feelings or unintentionally do something that makes her do something devastating? I don't know what's going on with her life, and I don't want to take away my profile if it's an escape for her… Maybe I should silence my notifications in general." Yuuri wondered aloud. The idea of it did sound appealing. That way Aria and anyone else who loved to mass like his posts could do as they pleased and Yuuri's phone wouldn't ring off the hook because of it.

He may end up missing important notifications if he silenced it all. One of his friends could be trying to contact him for something important and Yuuri wouldn't see the message unless he actively went looking for it.

Well, all of his friends did have his number. If they needed to get in touch he was sure they would call him instead of tagging on social media.

In the end, Yuuri decided to just silence his notification settings across all social media platforms except his personal Facebook. Since that Facebook was under a pseudo name, there was absolutely no reason for his old fans to find him there and mass like the nonexistent content he had posted besides some pictures and memes.

He had been one of Japan's most talented figure skaters so a following (though small) was still present despite having retired. Whether his previous fans forgot to unfollow him or not, Yuuri wasn't sure. The only activity his social media saw nowadays were updates from his friends and the massive like spam he received once every blue moon (Aria being the exception). He would just have to remember to check his accounts for a few minutes every day to not miss anything.

The three of them fell silent before Phichit quickly broke the awkwardness.

"Hey Yuuri," Phichit began, his three hamsters crawling around on the mattress after he let them loose. "You should come with us to the Art on Ice event. It'd be a nice little reunion between skaters."

"I don't know… It sounds fun, but I'm not sure if my teachers will be fine with me suddenly leaving."

"But it won't be sudden! Today's November 14th, right?" His eyes darted to the side a bit before going back to the camera. "Yeah, November 14th. The event is going to be on December 8th. You could always tell your teachers ahead of time and have your stuff ready for you online." Phichit suggested.

Yuuri gave a small hum in thought. "Where's it being held?"

"Paris." Phichit smiled. "Home of 1,000 art galleries across the city."

"Wow…" Yuuri murmured, obviously intrigued. "How long will everyone be staying?"

Phichit tapped his lip a few times in thought. "A week I think?"

"A week. Enough for sightseeing, the event, and getting home." Seung-gil answered a little more in depth, earning a slight nod from Yuuri in acknowledgment to the information.

"I'll think about it. It really does sound like a great time, but you know. My grades still aren't the best." He told the two.

"You don't have to go." Phichit made sure to assure him. "It would be nice to have you there, but grades are important. We'll always have a chance to meet up if you decide not to."

"Thanks. I'll let you know when I decide, okay?"

"Of course!"

Yuuri spoke to his friends for another two hours before he decided it was time to end the call and head to bed. He hung up with a good night to Seung-gil and a good afternoon to Phichit, then dressed himself out of his casual clothing and into some pajamas.

The day had been nice though a bit uneventful. His mind, thankfully, didn't wander to Victor for long periods of time which allowed him to focus. Though his thoughts drifted to his crush during the train ride back to Hasetsu, it was a period of time where he was able to let his mind wander without worry. The worst that could have happened was coming home two hours later than usual because he missed his stop.

Now that Yuuri thought about it…

He checked his phone again after plugging it in to charge, seeing that he hadn't received any messages today.

' _Victor must have been busy.'_ He thought to himself with a shrug. Either that or the Russian didn't want to talk to him... _'He has better things to do anyway.'_

With Victor being the last thing to cross his mind, Yuuri snuggled under the covers of his mattress. He removed his glasses and closed his eyes, awaiting the peaceful slumber that welcomed him.

The following morning, Yuuri awoke to the subtle noise of his cell phone buzzing consistently against the mattress. Morning's glow spread around his closed curtains, telling him that he had gotten his night's rest and should start the day. He groaned, eyes slowly opened as he reached for the device. Yuuri swiped his thumb blindly until he managed to unlock the screen.

7:36 A.M.

1 new message

Yuuri squinted, the glare of the phone burning his dreary and blurry gaze. He blinked a few times, letting his pupils adjust to the screen before he quickly navigated to the message that he received.

Taka

 _'Hey Yuuri. I know you mentioned lunch yesterday so I wanted to let you know I'll be on the soccer field all week from 2 to 6. Let me know if you bring it. I'll buy you food so we can eat together_

 _Thanks again'_

He let out a big yawn as soon as he finished reading, brought his free hand up then rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Yuuri knew Takanori didn't intend to wake him up with the message, but the constant buzz glitch had interrupted his slumber. He forced himself to sit then get out of his warm bed, knowing he would fall back asleep if he let himself the bliss of five more minutes.

After showering, brushing his teeth, and any other morning necessities he went to the kitchen where his mother had already started on making breakfast for the family and the guests. A large tray full of cooked fish was next to the stove as his mother carefully watched over what cooked in the pan. On another counter was a large pot filled with what Yuuri could guess was steamed rice and to the side of that various small dishes of vegetables that had been prepared for the various people that would enjoy their meals. His mother stood attentively at the stove, stirring the miso soup being heated up next to the cooking fish.

 _"Good morning Yuuri!"_ She greeted cheerily, smiling over to her son. _"I'm almost finished making breakfast, would you like some?"_

 _"Yes please!"_ Yuuri said but soon added. _"Mom, you're making lunch at 2, right?"_

 _"Yes dear, same as always. Why?"_ She asked.

 _"You remember Taka right?"_

 _"Your friend from college?"_

Yuuri nodded in affirmation, _"He's been helping me out a lot, and my grade in math has really improved because of him. I promised him a home cooked meal, but I don't want to mess anything up…"_ He trailed off, letting his mother fill in the blank.

 _"Oh, I'd be happy to help! What were you thinking of making him?"_ Hiroko asked him, visibly eager to assist her son.

" _Um, I'm not sure. He says he'll eat anything, so I was thinking about making him katsudon. Can never go wrong with that, right?"_

 _"Sure! Should we make some squid sashimi with it to give that Yu-topia wholesomeness?"_ Hiroko asked her son, who nodded.

 _"Yeah, he mentioned he liked seafood too, but can we make it a few hours before lunch? I want to get it to uni in time to give it to him."_ Yuuri told his mother, who nodded in agreement.

Time seemed to pass quickly for Yuuri when 11 o' clock struck. He and his mother worked around the kitchen, talking to one another while they prepared the meals. Since Hiroko decided she wanted to make enough katsudon and sashimi for the inn, Yuuri had no choice but to help with the entire meal preparation while Mari and Toshiya assisted the guests and the onsen. In the end, Yuuri packed up the meals made for Takanori and himself into some plastic containers and wrapped each one individually with a tight strip of cellophane to keep the food from accidentally spilling all over his notes. In between the cellophane were sets of chopsticks to eat the meals with.

After a quick hug and thank you to his mother, the Katsuki had to rush getting his outdoor shoes on then make it to the train before he was late. He had his evening class at 4 PM but he wanted to meet up with Taka and give him his meal in person. Maybe even sit down and eat with him. It wouldn't feel right giving the food to Takanori's friend in the hopes that it would be passed on to the intended recipient.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it.

Yuuri rushed through the station, swiping his card when necessary and only managed to make his way into the train by squeezing his way into the group of passengers going the same direction, with just enough time to watch the doors shut behind him. The train was usually crowded, that was normal. However, this time the multitude of people was not going to allow Yuuri to move freely, much less stand in his favorite spot without him needing to split a sea of riders. He would be forced to stand at the center of the train body-to-body.

He had never felt so claustrophobic in his life.

He looked around him to try and find something to occupy his time, at least for a moment. Two women who looked to be from an office job were standing dangerously close, making Yuuri want to back away from them to ensure there would be no misunderstandings. To his right was an elderly man wearing a green bucket hat, a khaki jacket, and light blue jeans. To his left, a tall man with silver hair wearing a black felt hat and a black trench coat, his back to Yuuri. He guessed the man was looking at his phone or something from how hunched over he was; probably lucky enough to have the device in his hand before he stepped onto the train.

Yuuri felt his own phone vibrate again.

The two hours that passed were the most boring he had to endure, with his mind dangerously drifting close to losing himself every now and then. With no elbow space to take out his phone, he was forced to do nothing but stand and wait for the train to arrive at Kumamoto. God, he wouldn't be able to message Takanori and let him know he was going to bring lunch. What an inconvenience…

There was also the chance that Takanori wouldn't like the food, which worried him greatly. This was supposed to be a thank you meal for his hard work and dedication to help Yuuri…. What if Taka was allergic to something in the katsudon or in the sashimi? What if he hated the katsudon? Takanori said he liked meat and seafood… But what if he got food poisoning because something was undercooked? God, what if Takanori got sick because Yuuri unknowingly made a careless mistake?!

He took a deep breath, then made his way off the train as soon as the doors opened, pouring out with the group of passengers rushing to their separate destinations. Yuuri pulled out his phone the moment he was away from the crowd, standing to the side so that he would not be in anyone's way. The device lit up with a touch of the home button.

 _'3 New Messages_

 _Victor'_

Yuuri hummed a little in thought as his heart beat faster in his chest just by the sight of Victor's name alone. Should he? Shouldn't he? Was it important? Victor's phone was an Apple product like Yuuri's wasn't it? Did he have that 'message read' feature on? Assuming he did, it would be rude if he just opened Victor's messages and didn't send anything back. Victor would know if Yuuri saw his messages and didn't respond…

He sighed, his free hand going to his chest. The thumping was quick and loud in his ears, reminding him of his first performance as a competitive figure skater. He had been so nervous at the time, and now, he was feeling the same sensations over someone's text messages. Text messages. Why was he like this?

Yuuri decided, in the end, to tap open the messages with the intent to answer Victor. Be it with a genuine conversation starter or an "I'm busy right now", he would give the Russian something. Mari said find a balance. A message would be fine and then Yuuri could focus on his lunch (with or without Takanori) before his evening class.

 _'Victor_

 _12:17 PM: Hi Yuuri!_

 _12:23 PM: I was wondering when you have some free time_

 _12:38 PM: I was hoping we could chat again soon'_

 _Badum badum badum badum_

Yuuri took another deep breath to try and calm himself down from the rush. He kept his fingers steady, long enough so that he could quickly tap out his message to the other man without making any errors.

 _'Hey Victor_

 _I'm a little busy at the moment, but I'll text you back to let you know.'_

Was making a promise like that a good idea? He was guaranteeing a response with that message, wasn't he?

Yuuri deleted the message then typed up another.

 _'Hey Victor! I'm sorry I'm busy right now, but I'll let you know when I can."_

Was that better? It didn't promise a message as soon as possible, but it would mean Yuuri wasn't ignoring him. The exclamation point did sound a little too enthusiastic, but a normal period would make him sound disinterested in talking again. Would Victor mind?

This wasn't better, but Yuuri didn't have a lot of ideas on how to make it good.

He'd have to leave the message as it was. Yuuri pressed 'send' on the device and the text was delivered. Before he could put his phone down, the message was marked 'read' and Victor's three dots had already come up. Had Yuuri messaged him while he was browsing his phone or something?

 _'Victor_

 _2:43 PM: That's fine! I'll be waiting'_

 _Badum badum badum badum badum_

Well shit.

Victor was going to be expecting that response, and there was nothing Yuuri could do to get around it without appearing rude or that he was ignoring the other male. How did people get over crushes and become friends with them at the same time if something like this was happening? "Find a balance" Mari said, but the Katsuki wasn't sure where that balance was, at all. He had already been friends with Yuuko when his crush on her happened; all he had to do was not say anything and their friendship remained intact. He had never been in this situation before where he wanted to get to know someone better but at the same time, didn't. It was a rollercoaster ride that Yuuri simply couldn't get off of.

The former skater quickly checked the time before putting his phone away, happy that the latest message Victor sent was something he could get away with not responding to for a few hours.

The time had read 2:43 when he checked that text message. Takanori was definitely on the soccer field right now and most likely left his phone in the locker room. It would be better if he just head to the soccer field himself and deliver the food for him. Hopefully, Coach Ueda wouldn't take the food and promise to deliver it to Takanori after practice.

Well, all he could do was try.

Yuuri continued the rest of the way to the university, mind wandering to a certain Russian man and other miscellaneous thoughts as he stepped his way onto campus. The school was busy as per usual, but not overly so. He was able to navigate across the property without a disturbance, making it all the way from concrete to a grassy ground under his shoes.

The soccer players of the Kumamoto University team were navigating around the field, practicing their one versus one drill with each person taking turns either attacking or defending. The members all wore the same blue and yellow uniform, their white shoes looking nothing more than blurs while they dribbled and fought for the ball between the pairs. Yuuri couldn't help but stop and stare at the impressive footwork each member of the team demonstrated on the field.

His father loved the sport. Every time Yuuri came home he would find Toshiya sitting down with it on the television and the other guests joining in on the viewing. At first, the former skater didn't understand what the appeal was, but the more he watched, the more he realized how much work and skill it took for soccer players to get to where they were. It wasn't just kicking a ball around; it was dribbling, strength, speed, strategy, and teamwork.

Yuuri scanned the field for a familiar face, though it was impossible to really pinpoint where Takanori was. Especially when the team members were moving too quickly for him to decipher any familiar features. He had no other choice.

He tore his gaze away from the field to head to the coach that watched from the sidelines. Yuuri guessed that this man was Coach Ueda.

The man was as tall as Yuuri with slightly tan skin and no visible wrinkles. He wore a black t-shirt tight around his biceps and pecs with red gym shorts over muscular thighs. A blue lanyard hung around his neck with a ring of keys and the subtle shine of a whistle gleaming in the high sun. The man himself was rather muscular, with a broad chest, large muscles, and an obvious enthusiasm for exercising that contributed to his physique.

 _"Let's go Sakurai-san! Don't let your opponent dupe you like that! You can do it!"_ The coach called out towards the field, clapping his hands in what Yuuri guessed to help give the player the encouragement he needed.

The person, who Yuuri assumed was Sakurai-san, moved quickly to steal the ball. He faked left, forcing his partner to take the other direction before quickly shooting out his leg to hook the back. His opponent, anticipating this, immediately tried to react but failed. Ueda grinned at the little success for his player.

 _"Um, excuse me?"_ Yuuri approached the larger man, who looked over to him. His face was blank for a second but it was soon replaced with a warm smile. _"A second of your time, please?"_

 _"Of course! How can I help?"_ Coach Ueda said, turning his body towards Yuuri so he had his undivided attention.

" _I brought Takanori his lunch and, well, I wanted to give it to him… But I could let you hold onto it if it would be too much trouble."_ Yuuri trailed off. Coach Ueda hummed in thought.

 _"I could pull Hashikawa-san off the field and he can take it off your hands. I don't trust myself with food."_ Coach Ueda finished that sentence with a chuckle, patting his stomach a few times. _"I wouldn't be able to resist."_

Yuuri laughed a bit at the other's joke, feeling a little more at ease from the friendliness of the coach. _"Thanks, but I can wait until the team takes a break to give it to him. I don't want to interrupt anything."_

 _"Nonsense!"_ The coach assured before turning his gaze towards the direction of the field. " _Hashikawa-san! Come here a minute!"_ He called out before Yuuri could stop him.

A pair of players stopped what they were doing upon hearing the call. The black haired one, who Yuuri had to squint to see was Takanori, paused his dribbling with his foot on the ball while his partner's defensive stance relaxed. Both exchanged a few words before Taka left the ball where it was, jogging across the field to the pair.

With a few words, the coach directed the other's attention to Yuuri.

 _"Hey Yuuri!"_ Taka greeted his friend, wiping the sweat away from his eyes with the back of his hand. "How's it going?"

" _Hey! I brought you lunch. Katsudon and squid sashimi; my family's inn's specialties."_ Yuuri pulled his bag off to fish the food containers out. _"I'm sorry I didn't let you know beforehand."_

 _"Hey, no need for sorry. If anything, this is a nice surprise!"_ Takanori assured him, a bright smile on his face as Yuuri brought out the two containers for the soccer athlete. _"Katsudon and squid sashimi you said?"_

 _"Mhm. My family owns the Yu-topia Katsuki inn in Hasetsu, and we're known for these."_ He gestured to the containers, which Takanori took into his hands. _"You can keep the containers by the way."_

The two of them could see through the plastic that the once presentable katsudon had a rough trip and the sashimi was a bit of a mess, but Takanori looked ready to salivate over the meals he had received. Yuuri, on the other hand, was a bit embarrassed to present the food in the state it was.

Coach Ueda had quietly slipped away from the two, neither of them noticing he had gone back to the team.

" _Wow! Thanks Yuuri. Now I want to do something for you."_ Takanori said, though before he could start asking, Yuuri smiled and shook his head subtly.

 _"The whole gesture was because you've been doing something for me, Taka. If you make something for me, I'll want to make something for you, and it'll just be a never ending cycle."_ Yuuri smiled wide at his friend. _"Consider us even, okay?"_

Takanori nodded with a chuckle, _"Alright alright… Did you bring something for yourself?"_

 _"Yeah, some katsudon. Did you want to eat together?"_

 _"Sure! Just let me ask Coach first."_ Takanori said, taking the containers with him to speak with said coach.

As Yuuri waited for his friend, a tingling sensation struck his back again. The sense of a predatory gaze set on him, and his instincts were telling him to get away. He looked to his left, then to his right. The soccer players were busy with their drill, save for Takanori and coach Ueda. Students that sat near the fields were all talking amongst each other or enraptured in their own tasks.

The Katsuki frowned, wondering what was making him so…uncomfortable.

When Takanori returned, he told Yuuri that he was given a 30 minute break so the two could eat. Yuuri asked if there were any consequences for this, but was assured that the only consequence was that Takanori wouldn't have his break with the team, which was fine according to the athlete.

With that, the two decided to head to the school's picnic area of circular metal tables. It was the site on campus where students would sit and talk or relax in their leisure while being outdoors. It was the closest place Yuuri and Takanori could enjoy one another's company without having to go too far away from the soccer field.

Yuuri didn't like the picnic area personally, mainly due to the discomfort of the chain style seating the table offered while being out in the open for curious eyes to gossip about. However, asking Takanori for a different spot would be an inconvenience to his friend and a bit selfish. As much as he'd rather sit in the cafeteria, he decided not to say anything about it.

The two sat down across from each other once they chose their spot. A small metal table away from separate groups of students enjoying their relaxation time. It was also away from the trees, in case birds got any funny ideas.

 _"Wow, it smells delicious!"_ Takanori complimented, his hungry gaze eyeing the food despite the presentation being less than great.

 _"Right? The katsudon is my favorite. When I was figure skating competitively, I used to eat it whenever I won a competition. But now, I get to eat it whenever my mom makes it."_ Yuuri explained to his friend.

After the two said thank you for the meal, both men removed their chopsticks from the top of the plastic.

 _"What made you stop?"_ Taka asked, preparing a slice of pork cutlet to be picked up with his sticks.

 _"Lack of motivation. I still figure skate as a hobby, but nothing really kept me there competitively. The money and the medals honestly didn't mean anything to me, and the friends I saw at those competitions I could fly to them and visit. I just wanted to skate, and I could do that without a giant audience or a panel of judges telling me my score."_ Yuuri explained, picking up his own pork slice then placed it into his mouth.

Takanori ate some of his own pork cutlet, though he had to take a moment as the flavors of the sauce rendered him speechless. Yuuri grinned as he watched the athlete try to talk after he swallowed, but Takanori had to take another second to recover before he was able to.

 _"Wow, that's so good! Is this only at your family's inn?"_ Takanori asked, Yuuri giving a few nods to his question.

 _"Yup. My parents are adamant about keeping the recipe at Yu-topia."_ Yuuri took his own bite, relieved and happy he and his friend shared this in common. A part of him had feared Takanori would be the first to dislike his family's Hasetsu-famous katsudon.

 _"Aw, really?! All of Japan should taste this!"_ Takanori took a few more bites of his katsudon, eating more quickly than before. _"How far is Hasetsu again?"_

 _"2 hour train ride."_ Yuuri answered.

 _"It would be worth it. I'll start planning up a trip to Hasetsu and stay at your inn for the weekend. As long as I get to eat nothing but katsudon."_

Yuuri chuckled softly then resumed eating his own meal. Watching his friend enjoy the food so much was very…rewarding. His mother made him do most of the work cooking so it would feel better when Takanori had his first bite. He had cut and nicked himself a few times while cutting the pork; the bandage wrapped around his left middle finger was proof of that. Yuuri had worked hard to make the food, and Takanori eating his home cooking all up made him feel… good. A sense of accomplishment that the effort wasn't a waste. Was this what his mother felt when guests came far and wide to eat her katsudon and squid sashimi?

 _"Oh, I was gonna ask. You performed in front of people, right?"_ Takanori asked after he paused eating.

 _"Yeah, what about it?"_ Yuuri asked.

 _"Well…"_ Takanori began, _"How did you do it? My nerves come up during big games, and I've done some stupid shit that cost my team some goals. Did you have any tips or tricks for nerves?"_

Yuuri gave a small 'hmm' as he began to gather his thoughts. Oh yes, he knew his nerves and knew it well. How many times had he have to ignore the crowds with his music to try and keep himself calm? How many times did he listen to Celestino's pep talks before a performance when his nerves got jittery? Once he knew what to say, he started his explanation.

 _"I'm not the best person to ask, but I'll explain it as best I can. When I was younger, my anxiety was pretty bad back then. I had to have someone with me all the time to make sure I wasn't going to have a panic attack on the ice. So to try to keep me calm, my sister suggested I pretend I was performing for a bunch of carrots."_

Takanori's eyebrows shot up in surprise. _"Carrots?"_

Yuuri chuckled. _"Yeah. Carrots don't have a conscious mind and they can't silently judge you."_

 _"Huh… Never thought about thinking of carrots."_ Takanori said, thinking about the words.

 _"That was my sister's suggestion. Later in my career, I realized that the crowd was coming to watch me and my fellow skaters perform. I didn't want to disappoint them, so I danced on the ice like tomorrow would be my last. Kept myself in my own world and let my body do the work… I guess that worked for me until the end, maybe it'll work for you?"_ The Katsuki suggested to his friend, who took a second to ponder the idea.

 _"So keep my head in the game."_

 _"-and remember that the audience came out there to watch you perform. You're the star of the show; leave them wanting more."_

Both men ate a little more of their meals before Takanori spoke again. _"I think I'm gonna try both."_

 _"Go for it. What's the worst that could happen, right?"_ Yuuri asked him, part of it rhetorical since he actually didn't want to know what could go wrong. His mind was already more than willing to mention what could possibly ruin the advice

 _"Right! I'll try it out the next game. Maybe one of them will work for me too."_

 _"Speaking of your games, anything coming up soon?"_ The Katsuki took another bite of his meal as Takanori answered his question. The chatting really helping him relax and keep his mind off a certain someone.

 _"Nothing until next year, but that doesn't mean we can slack off. Ueda-san wants to condition us further before we gain weight over the holidays."_

 _"I know that all too well."_ The weigh-ins after Christmas always reminded Yuuri of the consequences of his weak will against his mother's and grandmothers' insistence he eat their delicious cooking.

 _"Yeah. He wants to get our metabolisms good and ready so we don't gain too much and can enjoy ourselves… Oh man, I'm kinda nervous what he has in store for us when we come back."_ Takanori said.

It was no secret amongst athletes and health nuts that Coach Ueda was the biggest exercise freak out of the entire Kumamoto University staff. He adored exercise more than the romantic novels he kept in his office (according to Takanori), and was ruthless to the soccer team behind his pep talks and motivational speeches. He was the go-to man for diet and exercise regimes that would make you want to cry after the first week. Coach Ueda, however, proudly states that these regimes were what helped him get to the physique he had today.

Takanori had shared a copy of the routine to Yuuri at one point, and the Katsuki inwardly thanked Minako for being lenient compared to this workout demon.

 _"If it's anything like his "Warrior Workout", you guys will shed that extra weight by tomorrow."_

Takanori visibly shuddered at the thought.

 _"We don't talk about the Warrior Workout-"_

 _"Victor-kun!"_

Yuuri and Takanori looked over towards the direction of the female voice that announced the name. They didn't see any students around the picnic area that could have been the culprit (or the victim), but whatever it was, it was certainly close by.

 _Badum badum badum badum…_

The Katsuki turned his attention back to his food, taking a few more bites to keep him occupied while he tried to relax his mind again. The chopsticks in his fingers visibly quivered as the nerves worked up again. The idea that his crush might be nearby…

It was ridiculous. He felt like a young student with a crush. Yuuri wanted to do nothing but hide when he was in this state.

Takanori rose an eyebrow at this, _"You okay?"_

Yuuri quickly nodded, _"'m fine."_ He managed, forcefully swallowing down what he chewed to not be disrespectful. _"I'm fine…"_

 _"What's the matter?"_ The athlete asked, looking over Yuuri. _"You look like you're about to pass out."_

 _"I'm fine, really. Just… Victor makes me nervous is all; Big name around campus."_ Yuuri technically wasn't lying. Victor did make him nervous; he just wasn't going to tell his friend the whole reason behind it.

 _"Why? From what I hear, he's a nice guy with a lot of money. Take the fancy clothes and stuff away and he's just the same as everyone else."_ While he said this, Takanori readied the rest of the katsudon to be eaten so he could move on to the squid sashimi.

Yuuri pushed a few cutlet pieces around in the container, chin propped up by his free hand as he did so while his friend finished up the katsudon. _"I know I know. He's just really powerful in the business world with a lot of connections and wealth. I spoke with a lot of wealthy men and women when I was a figure skater for sponsorship deals, so I instinctively get antsy around people like him. I'm surprised I didn't start fixing my hair or trying to straighten my tie."_

Nikiforov was a popular name in many Japanese magazines that talked about business; Facta and Toyo Keizai were the first two that he could think of. Yuuri had only caught a glimpse of Victor's name and photograph in the magazines when Celestino asked him to skim through them for faces he'll need to recognize as some of them would attend events as potential sponsors. "Hottest bachelor" and "Inheritance" had been a few subtitles listed here and there that joined a handsome headshot of the silver haired Russian. From what he knew, which wasn't much, Victor Nikiforov was a force to be reckoned with economically. A man who had the money, power, and the wealth to get him anything he wanted, and anyone.

Which was one of the reasons in his already large list as to why Yuuri wanted to stop having feelings for this man. Victor could have anyone and anything he wanted. He wouldn't settle for a lowly failure of a figure skater who wouldn't benefit him in the slightest. Not to mention that Victor had met his soulmate already, someone who could complete the Russian body, mind, and soul…

 _"There's no reason to treat him differently than the rest of Japan, is there?"_ Taka asked as he moved on to the squid sashimi. He swooned slightly after the first bite, the athlete already eager to eat more. _"He's got a bunch of money. It doesn't make him a better person."_

 _"Right… But old habits die hard, I guess."_ Yuuri said, though he couldn't ignore the gnawing sense of familiarity in the pit of his stomach as he thought about Victor's face. He felt like he'd seen the man before, in person. Before the two properly met. Yuuri tried, but for the duration of his lunch meeting with Takanori, he couldn't remember for the life of him where he might have seen Victor before.


	4. Chapter 4

Hasetsu's Ice Castle had been a second home to him ever since Yuuri had been only a child. From youth to adolescence, the building was everything the Katsuki wanted from the little mundane town he held so close to his heart. It was where it all began for him; where his love for figure skating developed, where he could find peace, and where he could be alone if Yuuko allowed him to come in after hours (which she usually did). It was his escape from reality; the only love he could hold onto that he didn't have to worry about losing.

He breathed in the chilly air as he stepped inside, a sense of familiarity washing over him as the cold prickled his skin. Everything about the establishment had been exactly the same since it first opened. The only chance for change had been the idea of painting Ice Castle different colors, but Yuuko and Takeshi had always turned it away. Why would they change what had grown to become an Ice Castle signature? It was their brand color by this point and there was no need to fix something that wasn't broken, according to them. After that, the only renovation ideas that had come up were expanding the building.

Yuuri could see a familiar auburn ponytail sticking up from behind the glass of the yellowish pine ticket station. The owner of said ponytail appeared to be occupied with something underneath the shelves, little grumbles here and there as small thudding noises followed. Those rickety old boards that needed to be replaced, Yuuri could guess. It had been a problem for a few months now, but due to the simplicity of the project, Yuuko and Takeshi had been adamant about fixing it themselves. The Katsuki wanted to tell them that DIYs without instructions just wasn't a good idea, but at this point, it was better to have his friends learn through their mistakes.

The woman behind the counter huffed as she bent back up, a glowering look in her eyes before the gaze was directed at a familiar person.

 _"Yuuri? Is that you?"_ Yuuko's significantly brightened at the sight of him, large eyes almost glittering from the building's fluorescent lighting. _"It's been a while! How've you been?"_

 _"Hey Yuuko-chan, I'm doing okay. What about you? How's the family?"_ Yuuri asked her. A part of him hoped that the rink was empty today. He wanted to skate without worry of being judged.

 _"We're all doing great, thanks!"_ Yuuko moved around behind the counter to get her friend his rental ticket. _"Takeshi and I have been helping the girls get their skating legs going. They're so excited about starting; it's difficult to keep them away from here."_ She gushed, the smile widened at the thought of her children.

Yuuri had a thought, _"I could always help if you want. Teaching can get exhausting if you have more responsibilities on your plate."_

She giggled. _"Thanks Yuuri, but I know you've only got Fridays to yourself. The girls are a handful and I'd rather not burn you out."_ Yuuko handed him his ticket and the Katsuki offered the required Yen, but she gently waved her hand. _"Free of charge."_

 _"Free? But I'm not a skater anymore."_ He reminded his friend.

Back then, Yuuko had been kind enough to let her friend use the ice rink for free as a training ground. In exchange, Yuuri mentioned Ice Castle and Hasetsu as his preferred place of practice when he was interviewed by the press. The Katsuki was happy to advertise the rink that helped him for free, but he couldn't exactly do that anymore now that he had hung up his skates. He was just another customer…

 _"That doesn't matter. It's because of you Ice Castle is as popular as it is now. Even though you're not a competitive skater anymore, you're the reason people come here to give figure skating a chance."_ Yuuko gave him a smile then gestured him towards the shoe area. _"Go ahead. Don't worry about profits either. We made enough to cover the bills this month."_

He wanted to argue that he couldn't possibly be the reason, but his friend didn't seem to want to have any of it. Yuuko had a friendly smile, but her eyes were daring him to try and say otherwise to her. The very same look his own mother would give when her word was final.

He smiled at her, _"Thanks Yuuko-chan. You know I don't mind paying, but I really appreciate it."_

 _"It's no trouble! So, how's college? And your family?"_ Yuuko rested the upper half of her body on the station's table, using her arms to support her weight.

 _"My family's been okay, and the inn is doing good as normal. College has been… okay I guess."_

Yuuko's smile fell, _"The good kind of okay or bad?"_

 _"Well, um… Classes are good, although really boring. But, you know that guy I told you about?"_

 _"Takanori or the sexy foreign guy?"_ Yuuko's lips perked back up seeing her friend's cheeks go red for a moment.

 _"Victor, the foreign student… I overheard him saying he found- uh, someone he wants to date and he's actively going for them. The problem is he's someone I want to keep as a friend."_

 _"Yuuri…"_

 _"Yeah, I know. He's so interesting, and when we talk, it's like he understands me better than anyone else. I don't want to lose that."_

 _"But is what you're feeling worth it for some good conversations?"_

 _"Well, it's not just the conversations. He's really nice and a good guy from what I've seen. He kinda reminds me of Phichit."_ Yuuri admitted to her.

Yuuko hummed softly, " _I wish I knew exactly what to do, but I've never experienced something like this. You know the reason for that."_

Yuuri chuckled softly, _"It's hard to relate when you've had strong feelings for one guy your entire life."_ He joked with her, earning a giggle in response. _"No one should have to go through something like this, but I guess Fate had a different plan for me."_

 _"What do you think you should do?"_

 _"I… don't know, honestly,"_ Yuuri sighed and leaned his head against the ticket station's wall, _"Mari gave me some advice to find a balance. She said to talk to him like I would any other friend but not dedicate my life to him."_

" _So, treat him like any other friend?"_ After she said this Yuuri nodded in affirmation.

Yuuri took a second to glance behind him just to make sure no one was waiting. When he saw that he and Yuuko were still alone, he returned to their conversation.

 _"Mm-hm. She says time is all it takes to make a crush go away, and I believe her."_ His feelings for Yuuko had been the proof his sister was right.

 _"It's still a dangerous path to take, you know? What if you fall for him harder?"_

Yuuri had a look of knowing, _"Believe me, I've thought about the what-ifs. But, maybe once I see Victor's flaws past his good looks, my feelings will go a_ way."

His friend didn't seem entirely convinced about the other's plan. Feeling a little self conscious, the Katsuki decided to ask. _"Is that a bad idea?"_

 _"Hm? No, it's not a bad idea per se. I'm just worried you might fall harder for this guy. If he's as nice and handsome as you say he is, the heartbreak would be really painful… I don't want you to ever go through that."_

If only she knew.

 _"Everything will be fine,"_ Yuuri assured her. _"If my feelings become too much, I'll distance myself from Victor a little bit and get myself under control. Right now it's all I can do that doesn't hurt anyone."_

Yuuko looked like she wanted to say more to that, but in the end, she smiled. _"Well, a plan is better than no plan, right?" Her friend nodded in agreement, "Don't be afraid to call if you need an ear to listen, okay?"_

 _"Of course. Sorry I didn't tell you all this stuff sooner."_ He apologized to his friend who quickly waved her hand at that.

 _"No no! You're not obligated to tell me anything, so don't feel like you have to."_ Yuuko reassured her friend. Yuuri smiled at her as she gave him a pair of skates in his size. He'd requested the size so much in the past that she knew it by heart.

 _"Well, I should get out of your hair. I haven't seen Minako in a while and I need to get my exercise. Talk later?"_ He took the skates and pinched the hems of the skates to carry in his left hand.

 _"Of course! It was great chatting with you. Maybe we all can go for dinner sometime?"_

Yuuri's smile widened, _"That sounds great! I'll text you for details, okay?"_

 _"Got it. Have fun Yuuri."_

With that, the two said their goodbyes and Yuuri promptly made his way to the locker room.

Once Yuuri arrived, he would sit down then put on his skates before putting away his bag. When he finished, Yuuri took a moment to go through his phone. He wanted to check his social media and messages before he shut it away for a few hours.

Brown eyes gazed over the bright screen, searching for any new notifications that might require his attention.

Two unread messages shone on his screen. One text was from Phichit and the other from Victor.

He tapped on Phichit's name first.

 _'Phichit_

 _10:34 AM_ _Great! I'll send you a video when I can_

 _10:34 AM_ _You'll love it, I promise'_

He and Phichit had been talking about the Art of Ice event performance Phichit was going to do. His friend had assured him that all was going well and that the skating routine was going to be great when the day came. Yuuri requested a sneak peek to see how gorgeous the performance was going to be and Phichit was kind enough to comply.

Yuuri sent his confirmation then tapped out of the conversation. He would then tap on Victor's name.

 _'Victor_

 _10:40 AM Yes! She's a brown poodle and her name is Makkachin_

 _10:41 AM Isn't she a good girl?'_

Yuuri's face had noticeably lit up looking at the adorable animal that graced his screen. Underneath Victor's second message was a picture of a large brown poodle whose tongue lolled out of her mouth. She looked up with a doggy smile and a cocked head, half her puffy ears lifted up in curiosity of her owner. Victor must have been bribing her with a treat to look at him, and it really made her look that much cuter.

Makkachin was such a good girl.

His thumbs tapped around the keyboard, writing his gushing message and a few emojis to really accent what he felt. Once the message was finished he tapped 'send'. The momentary affection he felt for the animal gradually sifted into realization at what was happening.

 _Badum badum badum badum badum…_

Yuuri sighed and placed a hand on his chest, the rapid thumping sounded thunderous in the empty locker room. He took a few moments to repeat his breathing exercises, doing his best to calm his thudding heart.

Perhaps he should put his phone away before he got enraptured in another conversation with his amazingly charismatic acquaintance?

Deciding it would be best to do just that, the Katsuki put his phone on vibrate then hid it inside of his bag. He pushed his possessions further into the locker and shut the door. Once it was locked, he left only the key to it in his pocket. He gave a few test pulls to make sure it was secured then started walking towards the ice rink.

* * *

Victor switched the gear of his car at the parking lot of a nearby snack bar, the square building sitting atop the stairs just next door. His black Axela blended in well with the other customers' and employees' cars, and from his position, he had a good view of the Ice Castle's entrance. It had been about 10 minutes since his Yuuri climbed up the stairs and went inside of the building. He hadn't stepped back out; he was getting ready to ice skate now wasn't he?

With that in mind, Victor stepped out of the vehicle though he didn't close the door just yet.

He looked around the premises to take in his surroundings. A handful of middle aged individuals and some elderly were walking by, few were looking his way. They would forget about him by the end of the day, so long as nothing went wrong.

There were no back alleys. A plain and open area. He'd simply have to remove his coat before he entered if things don't go as planned. With that in mind, the Russian removed his gray peacoat then opened the door to his back seat. He tossed the clothing inside then closed the door. Victor had been wearing a black long sleeved shirt underneath the coat and accompanied it black gloves. His jeans were dark navy blue in color and his black designer shoes matched them well.

He took one last look of himself on the window's reflection and made sure not a hair was out of place then proceeded towards Ice Castle. His bangs were side swept with a blown look to it, his skin appeared smooth and flawless, and his eyes looked bright and cheerful with a bit of makeup to accent it. Victor knew there was a chance he would run into Yuuri being so close to him… If he got sloppy, at least he could talk himself out of it with words and appearance.

Victor quickly walked up the stairs, his attention momentarily caught by the skating duo cartoon on the side of the building. He didn't enter the building but rather peeked through the glass of the double doors.

His eyes widened a bit upon catching a familiar figure. Victor's breath caught in his chest and his heart began to race.

There.

Standing at the ticket station was Yuuri's short black hair and body standing with straight and proper posture, wearing a black and blue sweatshirt and matching pants. Having seen his soulmate from behind so many times, Victor had become familiar with the Japanese man. Said man appeared to be talking to someone judging by his hand gestures, but Yuuri covered the recipient of the conversation…

The silver haired man's hands clenched tightly at his sides, the tips of his glove digging into his palm while his chest throbbed in a dull and aching pain. Victor's body wanted to move on its own and approach his beloved… It ached to be next to him; to touch and hold him like he was meant to. He could be in there trying to turn down whoever was flirting with him! But if he barged in and rescued Yuuri now, he might create an awkward moment and be made a fool.

What did he have to do to claim what destiny lined up for him!?

Yuuri shifted his weight and started turning around.

Victor threw himself to the side to hide most of his body behind the concrete wall, pulling his gaze away as much as he could from the glass while the other glanced towards the door. Yuuri turned back around and continued his conversation. Had he seen him?

Victor took a short, calming breath to keep from acting on impulse. He had come all the way out here and every time they spoke, the Russian was getting closer to having Yuuri all to himself. He couldn't ruin it all because his Soul Mark wanted to make him do something rash. For now, he just needed to continue with his plans.

He flinched towards cover once he saw his Yuuri move, but this time his beloved didn't pay the door any attention.

The girl behind the counter smiled and waved him off.

She was pretty… Her smile was too… affectionate towards him. More than just a simple ticket station whore.

Victor hadn't noticed his jaw lock until it was already happening. He despised the idea of someone else trying to get close to his soulmate, but for Yuuri, he would do anything.

He would keep an eye on her.

Victor waited a few minutes outside until Yuuri left the counter and didn't seem to be coming back. Once he was certain the coast was clear, he opened the doors and stepped inside. He was welcomed by a chilly wind and snowy little designs around the walls; attractive to children in his opinion. Silence welcomed him as the girl turned her attention towards something else for a brief moment. There didn't seem to be any other employees despite the multiple windows suggesting it could fit at least 6 different people…

It was quaint for a small town business, but it would never survive in a larger city with more competition.

Did "Ice Castle" have a monopoly over any and all figure skating needs in Hasetsu? The sport wasn't as popular as football (or soccer), but there was still a market for it… Albeit small, it was possible to remain in business. Perhaps they charged a ridiculous price for entry?

The girl behind the counter smiled as Victor approached. She had reddish brown hair and big maroon eyes that were too large for her face. Everything about her screamed cheery and kindness, but compared to Yuuri, she was nothing.

 _"Hello and welcome to Ice Castle! How can I help you?"_ She asked him in Japanese. The Russian was kind of relieved she took a more relaxed approach than the "irasshaimase" he'd heard a million times when he entered stores.

 _"Hello! One please."_ Victor requested, putting on his chipper smile. He eyed her for some kind of name tag but there was none. That was different.

 _"I hope I'm not being rude, but your accent is so familiar. Are you Russian?"_ The girl asked him while she readied up the ticket for him. Victor's eyebrows rose a little in "pleasant" surprise.

 _"Yes, I am! From Moscow specifically."_ Perhaps Ice Castle was more popular than he first anticipated? _"Was I that obvious?"_

She smiled brightly at him, typing a few things from the ticket onto the computer. _"Just the accent. Without it, I wouldn't have been able to guess! I've always wanted to visit Moscow. Photos of it online look so beautiful."_ The girl commented as she tried to make small talk to fill the silence, though she had to stop typing and switched her gaze from the screen. _"Name please?"_

 _"Nikolai Kuznetsov."_

 _"Spell it for me?"_

Victor did so, making sure to give the counter girl a chance to keep up with him as he spoke. She made quick work of typing his name and, once finished, she penned her initials at the corner.

 _"Okay, that'll be 1,300 Yen."_

Victor fished out his wallet and took out the necessary amount in cash. He paid and the girl behind the counter made the transaction for him, all the while still trying to continue their small talk. Victor noted that this girl couldn't have been more than 30 years old. She had no wrinkles, she appeared very healthy physically, but she was very short. Running away would be a problem for her, wouldn't it?

Once everything was complete and he received his skates, the counter girl leaned over the booth to point towards the double doors to his right. _"Just go past those doors. There will be some signs to direct you towards the locker room and the skating rink. Do you need anything else?"_

 _"Your name, please? In case I need help."_ Victor requested.

She pointed to the left side of her chest, expecting her finger to tap something but a blank look crossed her face when she made the realization of her missing nametag. She grinned sheepishly at her customer _"Right… Oh, oh man."_ She murmured the first part to herself, _"My name is Yuuko. Please don't hesitate to ask me for anything."_

The Russian smiled back at her sweetly and nodded once in acknowledgment before walking off. _"Thank you, Yuuko!"_

 _"Enjoy your time Nikolai! And thanks for coming!"_ She returned to him with that same cheery smile that greeted him.

So Yuuko was her name.

Victor carefully navigated the halls of Ice Castle to ensure he didn't run into Yuuri. He took slow steps, listening for anything that should get his attention.

There was nothing so far.

Blue eyes drifted around to take a look at his environment, relaxing a little when he saw the coast was clear. The walls were blue in color and the floor a light gray concrete with snowy designs and decorations here and there. The drawings were of cute little anime characters beautifully drawn and colored, albeit with some paint scratches here and there; most likely from children sneakily vandalizing the artwork to feel rebellious.

White signs with dark blue kanji (and English translations) hung above him to direct him towards various locations but three caught his attention; the locker room, the restrooms, and the skating rink. Yuuri could be in one of those rooms right now… But in the end, Victor decided that the ice rink was the best place to go. He was less likely to run into or get caught by Yuuri. He'd be focused on skating if Victor entered after him.

One door was gently pushed until it was slightly ajar. Victor peeked inside, and once he saw the coast was clear, he entered. He was not at all surprised to see that there were no people present. The entrance was empty, the hallways were void of any customers or employees; it was only making him question further how Ice Castle was staying in business.

He scanned the ice rink to take in the new surroundings. A large square ice rink shone under the fluorescent lighting at the center of the room with various advertisements for different products Victor had no interest in. No bleachers or spots to sit down. The most decoration the ice had was the red rectangle going down the center and possible sponsor messages. A pair of double doors was on the opposite side of the entrance; a possible emergency exit?

There was only an ice rink and advertisements here.

There was nowhere to hide.

Yuuri was coming and there was nowhere to hide.

Victor scowled to himself at the realization but he stayed calm. His phone buzzed once in his pocket though he ignored it for now.

The Russian moved quickly in search of a decent hiding spot, becoming more and more nervous as he realized that he would have no choice but to duck behind the rink's wall. He cussed to himself and jogged towards the side of the rink closest to the second exit. The least likely place to get caught.

It was risky and the worst idea he'd ever had. He'd come just so he could stay close to Yuuri and ensure he wasn't going to be stolen away, but the silver haired man hadn't anticipated for this skating rink to be the cheapest, run down piece of shit he'd ever seen.

Curse Google maps and curse the damn owners for not putting photos of inside the stupid place.

The double door handle pressed open.

Victor threw himself into a crouch behind the ice rink wall, cursing again inwardly. He had to stop at the side of the rink instead of where he wanted, which meant a long way to the second exit. If he was caught now, he'd look like such a fool! He'd be damned if he looked like an idiot in front of his soulmate!

He stayed quiet, steadying his breathing so he could listen.

Footsteps walked, tapping against the concrete before pausing. A light tap of plastic sounded, then another, then after that it abruptly turned into sliding against the ice. Victor searched the wall for any holes or crevices he could peek through, but there was nothing. He'd have to move towards the entrance of the ice rink if he wanted a good look. Yuuri wasn't completely blind without his glasses; he'd see Victor if he made himself too obvious.

Victor started moving, keeping himself low and carried his skates as he did so. The reason being if he were caught by Yuuri, he could at least have the excuse of trying to get his skates on. It was a pitiful excuse, no doubt, but his beloved was so trusting; a little too trusting for his own good.

He paused when Yuuri's skating stopped. A slap against the ice and the sliding resumed. Suspecting that his Yuuri had done a jump, Victor moved again.

Once he reached the opening of the rink closest to the door he had gone through earlier, Victor peeked around the wall into the rink.

His soulmate was lost in his own world, dancing on the ice to his own rhythm. His eyes calm, steady, and in a trance. His footwork moved along the ice, smooth and gorgeous while his hands move elegantly around his gorgeous frame. Victor desperately wished he could listen to the same music. He wished he could be there with Yuuri, holding him close as they danced together. No one else in the world would matter except each other.

His heart thudded hard against his chest, his Soul Mark trying to connect with the man whose fate was intertwined with his own but as always it was interrupted. Victor didn't notice his breathing was becoming a little bit erratic or the smile that crept to his lips.

How much longer did he have to wait until he could have Yuuri all to himself?

The Russian set the skates to his side and pulled out his phone. He switched the camera to video then started recording, making sure to keep himself mostly hidden from the epitome of perfection in front of him.

Yuuri still seemed unaware about his presence. The brunette was entirely focused on his solo performance rather than his environment. What was his Yuuri thinking about?

Yuuri's legs lowered as he readied for a jump, then leaped into the air. His hands clutched the shoulders of his shirt as he spun. One... Two…

He landed perfectly for a triple Salchow. Beautiful. So, so beautiful…

He twirled on the ice in a Camel Forward position, his lovely eyes closed. Victor zoomed his camera in to focus on just Yuuri.

Oh, did his soulmate leave behind his glasses? Where were they?

It'd be a valuable memento, wouldn't it?

Victor zoomed out a bit once the other finished with his spin and flawlessly transitioned his skating into the next bit of his performance. He didn't recognize this dance at all. There were videos of Yuuri's performances on YouTube from his less popular days, but nothing quite like this one… Was this something he'd been working on despite retiring?

Yuuri seemed to truly be lost within his own thoughts. He seemed so distant... Victor felt his legs buckle involuntarily. He gripped the wall with one hand and fought the urge to go to the brunette. It was a strong pull towards his soulmate. He felt his legs ache against his will, the equivalent of trying to hold his own against a man twice his size.

His Soul Mark had to wait. It needed to.

He craved nothing more than to have his Yuuri with him by any means, but he had to stick to his plans.

If Yuuri could just fall in love with him, then Victor would never have to worry about him leaving.

Victor could just walk up to Yuuri and show him their shared Marks, but it wouldn't be as special. His soulmate would not be attached to him physically, mentally, and emotionally if Victor took the easy way.

He worked hard to become attractive and charismatic for his soulmate.

It was so difficult to stay hidden when he got Yuuri's home address.

He took notes religiously to get his beloved's school, work, and free time schedule.

All of his willpower was needed to stay composed when his beautiful Yuuri gave him his phone number.

He spent so much money moving to Japan and paying for admission into a University he could care less about.

He wasn't going to stop until he dominated Yuuri in every single way; until Yuuri could think of no one else except Victor.

Only Victor. Yuuri wouldn't need anyone else in his life once they were married. Victor had everything Yuuri could ever need. Money, influence over others, unconditional love and loyalty, sex appeal; once their Marks joined together, nothing would ever tear them apart.

He'll make sure that Yuuri was so in love with him, he'd have so much doubt if he ever found out Victor's truth.

Victor would finally be able to experience what he never thought he could, and Yuuri would be his forever.

 _"Whatcha doing down here?"_

Victor nearly jumped out of his skin at the new presence. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he had forgotten that he and Yuuri were not alone.

How careless.

He looked over to Yuuko who was crouched next to him, a look of suspicion on her face at the obvious sight before her. There was no way he could convince her he wasn't recording the figure skater still oblivious to his audience, so Victor would simply have to own it.

" _I-I'm sorry if this is against your rules, but I had no idea that Yuuri Katsuki skated here!"_ He spoke quietly to her, excitement intertwined with the words he spoke.

Her eyebrows lifted at that, _"Oh, are you a fan?"_

Victor nodded enthusiastically. _"Yes! He was my favorite male figure skater when he was still competitive."_

Yuuko's suspicious gaze turned to a smile, _"How about I introduce you to him? I'm a good friend of his and he loves meeting fans."_

" _N-No!"_ Victor quickly retorted, though kept himself quiet. Yuuri was still skating; he couldn't interrupt and become spotted! How would he explain that he not only lied about his name but that he already knew Yuuri from university?! _"Please no. I'm so shy… I wouldn't be able to keep my composure. I'd just die if I made an ass of myself in front of him!"_

Yuuko was a bit taken aback at the reaction. Fans of Yuuri normally said yes, didn't they? _"Really? Are you sure?"_

 _"Yes, really. Please accept my apology. I appreciate your kindness but I just don't do well with meeting people…"_

She nodded a few times. _"It's okay, I understand. Though, you still haven't answered my previous question."_

Right.

 _"Oh, I didn't recognize the routine he was doing… I just wanted to get a recording. It's so beautiful."_ Victor said to her while his attention was on Yuuri. He seemed to be skating aimlessly now, still so deep in thought and detached from the real world.

 _"I see... This was a routine he scrapped from his performance line. He never said why though."_ She answered him.

Victor kept in mind everything she was telling him, including that she was a close friend of Yuuri.

 _"Such a beautiful dance went to waste! Did he ever mention why he stopped performing?"_ Victor asked her this time.

Yuuko tapped her lip with her index finger as she thought about it. _"Um… Personal reasons I think? He told me so long ago and I didn't have the heart to ask him again."_

The silver haired man frowned at that. He pressed the button to cease his recording. He'd have to edit it for his collection.

 _"A loss to the competitive figure skating world…"_ Victor murmured. He hummed for a moment in thought to himself then turned back to Yuuko. _"Please don't tell Yuuri he had a fan here."_

 _"Huh? Why?"_ Yuuko asked him.

 _"I just… If I'm going to meet Yuuri, I'd rather he not anticipate it. I love to surprise people."_ He smiled sweetly at her.

The smile seemed to be contagious as she smiled in return. _"Alright, I guess I can do that if you promise to come back some day."_

 _"Of course. For now, I should leave. I don't want to embarrass myself in front of him with my crappy skating."_ Victor grinned at the other, sharing a chuckle with Yuuko.

 _"Okay. See you later Nikolai. Hopefully, you'll do some skating instead of watching it next time."_ She teased him.

 _"Next time I will."_

With a short wave of goodbye, Victor left his skates to her as he kept low. He crouch walked his way to the exit then stood upright once he was out of the door.

Victor's smile dropped; he ran a hand through his bangs in a frustrated manner.

She gave him the benefit of the doubt, didn't she? That smile on her face was the same a retailer would force to not seem rude. Was that the reason she didn't ask him about him recording?

Regardless, winning her trust was going to be easy.


	5. Chapter 5

Beads of sweat rolled down his cheeks and black hair matted against his forehead after the hours of exercise was coming to an end. Yuuri kept himself upright, breathing heavily through his mouth as the sun hung low over the horizon. The blue skies had darkened to dusk and more guests were coming to enjoy the beginning of their weekend at the ice rink. He could feel his lungs and legs burn from the intensity of his performances, but it was fine with him. The raven-haired man felt like he had just made up for all the time he missed out in the ballet studio. Hopefully Minako would come back from her trip soon and he could get his exercise regime back on track.

" _Yuuri!"_ Yuuko called from the rinkside, holding out a plastic bottle of water.

Yuuri, once he saw what his friend held, skated over to her and took it with a 'thank you'. He uncapped the bottle and forced himself to take sips despite wanting to chug the liquid down all at once. The noise was gradually increasing around them now that there were more customers.

He looked back to Yuuko, mouth opened to ask how she liked the performance, but it closed upon seeing she was contemplating something about the rink's exit. His friend always looked towards the target of her thought process when she was deep in thought. _"Yuuko-chan?"_

" _Hm?"_ She hummed.

" _Is something wrong?"_

" _It's just..."_ Yuuko trailed off, seeming to contemplate something for a brief second until her eyes seemed to sharpen with determination. _"A guy came in here and I caught him recording you while you were skating."_ The auburn haired girl told the other.

" _What?"_ Yuuri questioned, his eyes widening a bit out of surprise.

" _Yeah, he was crouching down here and taking a video of you on his phone. I'm pretty sure he was trying to hide but he didn't do a very good job."_ She explained, gesturing towards the rink-side entrance to show where the man had been hiding.

Yuuri's shock quickly subsided into confusion. _"Why would he do that?"_

Yuuko shrugged, moving to rest her arms against the wall. _"He said that he was a fan and was too shy to introduce himself."_

" _Why though? I'd understand if I were still a competitive skater or someone important to the ISU, but I'm not. It's...weird."_ Yuuri looked at his friend who didn't seem to be too convinced with something. _"Yuuko-chan_ _?"_

Yuuko lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed. " _I thought about the possibility that maybe he just forgot his manners in your presence, but I didn't want to rule out that he might be a creep."_

" _A creep? But wouldn't he try to follow me into the locker room if he was one?"_ He was actually very thankful that this pervert didn't do such a thing. Yuuri didn't know what he'd do if he caught someone watching him undress.

" _There's a fetish for everything Yuuri. Maybe his was figure skaters."_ Yuuko answered him.

The raven-haired man hummed a little at the possibility. She was absolutely right, and he was certain this man wouldn't be the last.

Yuuri, having been a popular figure skater back in his prime, had had people record or take pictures of him in public with or without his knowledge. He had been uncomfortable at first and had posted a public post requesting people not do that. But after so many people continued anyway, he learned to ignore it completely. He couldn't stop a whole group from doing what they wanted, so Yuuri decided it just wasn't worth the hassle anymore.

Plenty of people who got a recording of him might have used it for figure skating reference while they practiced; or they could have used it as masturbation material. Yuuri would rather think the stranger preferred the former.

" _What did he look like? So I can keep an eye out for him."_ He asked this time. If this guy was a creepy pervert, then the least he could do is watch his surroundings for this person. Knowing who to look for would ease his paranoia.

The brunette girl tapped her chin in thought of the stranger's appearance. _"About this tall,"_ She put up her hand to show the estimated height. _"He had silver hair, really blue eyes, and pale skin. Looked to be in his 30's or 40's. He's really strong too; he might have been an athlete or an Instagram model. Now that I think about it, I should look him up later..."_ She said. Yuuri could see her eyes visibly lighten when the idea came to her head. He, however, felt a sense of dread.

That man sounded a lot like a certain dog loving Russian Yuuri had become acquainted with. But it couldn't have been _him_ , right?

Why would he be _here_ of all places? Had he come to Hasetsu as a tourist? To see their squid statue or something and came across Ice Castle? He _was_ adventurous; Had he come to try out figure skating? Oh God, what if he came for the katsudon and was at Yuuri's house _right now?!_

What if he had been the one to record him?

Yuuri hadn't noticed that his hands had begun to shake and his heart was starting to beat quick in his chest until it was too late. His knees felt like they were going to collapse underneath him; as if this was his first time on the ice. For this specific reason he had done his best to not think about Victor during his dance. This kind of shaking and rapid heartbeat could be dangerous while he performed. He had done such a good job keeping him out of his mind, but it seemed that no matter what he did, Victor would find a way back into his thoughts.

Life just wasn't fair, was it?

Yuuko eyed him with immediate concern when she noticed her friend start to tremble in his shoes, _"Are you okay Yuuri? Are you having an attack?"_ She asked gently, looking around for a chair or anything the other could use to sit on.

Yuuri shook his name gently. _"N-No... I just... You still take customers' names before giving admission, right? What was that guy's name?"_

" _Uh, Nikolai Kuznetsov."_ Yuuko answered him. Confusion laced her concern this time. _"Did you want to report him?"_

He took a steady breath and his eyes closed, repeating his breathing exercises. _'His name is Nikolai. His name is Nikolai. His name is Nikolai...'_ Yuuri repeated to himself in his thoughts. If Nikolai was his name, then it couldn't be Victor. Victor wasn't a liar. Everything his crush has claimed was backed up with some kind of evidence that made it fact. He said he had been from St. Petersburg, he sent a photo of his home that he took to prove it and was able to answer any question Yuuri threw at him. He had even shared some experiences he had with his grandparents. Victor said that he owned a pink convertible because it was a fun and extravagant car to own, when Yuuri asked for proof, Victor sent a picture of the car and the day's date. Earlier, Victor said he had an adorable dog and sent the photo of Makkachin to prove it. Yuuri had asked him to give his dog some petting on his behalf, and Victor sent a photo back of a very happy poodle getting head scratches. Yes, Victor wasn't a liar.

" _Yuuri?"_ Yuuko snapped him out of his thoughts.

" _Sorry. Your description sounded really close to Victor. Like, scarily accurate."_ Yuuri began to explain. _"I thought for a second that maybe it was him who came to Ice Castle, but you said the guy's name was Nikolai and probably older than us. They're both Russian too, so... kind of an impulsive thought I guess."_

" _Do you think Victor came to Japan with a relative?"_ Yuuko asked him just as the question came into Yuuri's mind.

" _Maybe his cousin or father or something. But Victor never mentioned a relative that was staying in Hasetsu, or one who thought about visiting. It could have just been some random guy who looked like him."_ Yuuri told his friend.

He couldn't blame Victor at all for not mentioning a relative, though; it wasn't any of Yuuri's business. Maybe Nikolai was an immediate family member who was just as adventurous as Victor? Maybe he was Victor's father and that was why the two shared similar characteristics?

But why would his surname be Kuznetsov if Victor's was Nikiforov? Did Victor take his mother's name? Were his parents divorced?

Maybe Nikolai is an uncle to Victor? Or a different relative?

Or a stranger who shared appearance traits with Victor?

If that were the case, what a small world they lived in.

Yuuko's eyes momentarily widened. Her arms crossed over her chest and her left hand pressed on her cheek as she had a thought. She seemed hesitant, but Yuuri's curious eyes made her speak her mind, _"You know, it could have been Victor and he lied to me?"_

He shook his head at the suggestion, _"I thought about that, but he isn't a liar. He wouldn't have anything to gain from it anyway."_

" _Yeah, you're right. Besides, what are the chances Nikolai and Victor are the same person?"_ Yuuko said to him and smiled, her attempt to take a little edge off the conversation.

Yuuri smiled back at her, _"Really slim."_

Yuuko wanted to smile more, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She let the smile falter and sighed. _"I'm really sorry that I didn't say anything to you while he did it. I should have done something-"_

Yuuri was quick to speak up. _"You don't have to apologize. Knowing me, I would have gotten a panic attack over your safety if you had started something with him. Especially if he was twice your size. That's what you wanted to prevent, right?"_

Yuuko nodded. _"I was scared calling him out would end up giving you an attack bad enough to send you to the hospital, so I played nice with him... I figured I could handle it without some kind of hostile approach."_

" _You kept the situation from escalating to something worse. Give yourself some credit,"_ Yuuri reassured her before adding. _"He got his video, and while I wish we could have reminded him of his manners, it's been done. If we see him again when I'm here we can use a secret code word for it. It would also be a good idea to have Takeshi come in more often just in case Nikolai turns out to be a perverted freak. You and Takeshi could escort him out as a team and ban him."_ He suggested to Yuuko, who significantly brightened at the idea.

" _Sounds good. How about we use... "Do a triple Axel" as the code phrase?"_

With a smile, Yuuri agreed.

His calf muscles felt as though they were throbbing underneath his skin. The back of his throat still ached with the dry heat of his breathing; his lungs had not properly recovered from his exercise today. He most likely breathed too harshly and damaged something... Yuuri had taken a quick shower before dressing into a loose T-shirt, some comfortable boxers and pajama pants with cartoon dog patterns on it. The very ones that Phichit had mailed him as a gift.

The raven-haired man was plopped on his bed, stomach against the mattress comfortably with his blanket bunched at his feet. His cellphone was in his right hand, thumb flipping through the massive Like storm he received from that one girl again.

Aria Vaccaro had gone through his social medias and gave him a huge notification pile waiting for his attention. Some of them from photos dating back to the early 2000's, when Yuuri had just started figure skating. The amount of times this girl did this was a little alarming, though it made him think back to what he said during his conversation with Seung-Gil and Phichit.

Was he really Aria's escape from reality? Was she being abused in her home and used his social media to find happiness?

Should he try to talk to her?

Would she want that?

Would he be intruding if he messaged her?

He received a text message but ignored it for now.

Yuuri's lips tugged, watching as more notifications popped up on his feed again. Aria, Aria, Aria. More Aria...

This girl... If he were in her shoes, he wouldn't know how to react to his escape suddenly sending him a message asking if he was okay. It would be shocking, he thinks. Maybe it would be... strange? It would feel like the person he liked had crossed an invisible boundary he set; one the other party was unaware of. And he may feel anxious as well, thinking he annoyed his idol to the point where he was going to be scolded by them.

But, he took into account that Aria wasn't him. She was her own person with her own personality. She could want Yuuri to reach out to her and these massive spams were her cry for help. But did she have some degree of anxiety as well? Was that why she used Like spams instead of directly asking?

If Yuuri were a teenager, that might have been what he did if he had no friends or family to go to.

Or, like a majority of Seung-Gil's fans, she could be a teenage girl just going through his social media because she likes him.

Sometimes The raven-haired man wished he could peek in on others' lives, just so he knew what he should do in the moment. If he could just know what this girl wanted out of this, or received a little bit of information about her, then maybe making these decisions would be 100% easier.

He tapped Aria's profile picture.

It was a selfie of a young woman who looked to be in her early 20's or late teens. She had long curly brown hair and fairly tan skin. Her features were heart shaped, with big green eyes (most likely contacts) accented with winged eyeliner and a tight white tank top to adorn her petite body. She was sitting in a car, sunset giving her flawless complexion a nice glow, with her arm outstretched to hold her phone. She was remarkably pretty, a little _too_ much to not be a Twitter or Instagram model.

Was this a catfish or was this really a girl named Aria? Or was Aria insecure about her appearance and used a model's photo from the internet? Was she even a she? Was Aria actually a man that used Yuuri's profile as an escape? Or just some creepy pervert trying to coax Yuuri into sexual conversation? So many questions...

Well, whoever this was, it didn't nullify the fact that she (or he) spam liked his stuff. It couldn't be for no reason.

He semi-expected for Aria's account to have activity, but surprisingly, there was none. He thought that she might have set her account to private, but no. He could see everything.

Yuuri clicked on her pictures.

A small album of photos popped up, all of the same girl in various locations and some with family members.

He had an idea.

'If she's a catfish, then her photos will lead to someone else, right?' Yuuri thought to himself.

With that in mind, the raven-haired man got up from his bed and grabbed his Macbook Air, then set the computer on his lap. Once he navigated back to Aria's photos, he right-clicked on one of them and reverse searched the image.

Nothing came up.

He did the same thing to another photo.

Nothing, again.

He did it once more to a different photo just to triple check.

Not one thing popped up for it...

Huh.

So not a catfish?

Yuuri still didn't one hundred percent believe it. He went back to Aria's Twitter to investigate further. Now, he just wanted to see how legitimate Aria was.

There were no tweets he could read that could prove she was a real person, but that didn't automatically make her a bot. He searched further, searching for any signs of life in this profile.

Oh, she had a bio.

" _Hello! My name is Aria and I am a huge figure skating fan 3"_

She seemed nice at least, even though it barely said anything about her except that she liked figure skating.

Aria only followed two people. Himself and Phichit. Her follower count was 27, but her likes were at 8.2K.

He tapped her Likes.

There, he could see that every single thing Aria liked had involved him in some way or form. It was uncomfortable seeing his face looking back at him in so many different ways.

Multiple pictures from Phichit's Twitter with Yuuri somewhere in it, liked. Even if he was just a background character, it was liked. The same with his other friends' posts and anyone who mentioned Yuuri in a positive light received a like as well.

Yuuri scrolled further, more and more of his images blurred past with some text posts here and there.

Was Aria a bot programmed to search his hashtag and like whatever was there?

What a specific bot... Nah, it had to be a person. But who would devote their time and effort liking just him? The pictures must have been Aria's too; how else could it have zero results?

Another text message came in, grabbing his attention from the scrolling.

He decided that maybe he should take his mind off of Aria for the moment and do something else. If he still felt like he needed to send her a message, then he'd do it. At the least it would confirm whether his Like spammer was a bot or not.

Yuuri picked up his phone then pressed the home button. He then thumbed down the notification menu of his iPhone, Victor's name coming up with his notifications.

He took a moment to relax himself and clear his head.

 **~~Victor~~**

Victor sat on his fine blue sofa too small for his tall frame, staring at his text conversation while he waited for Yuuri to respond to him. His brown poodle, Makkachin, snuggled against his stomach. The large dog slept soundly on her owner while the man eyed the screen intently for the dots to show up.

His Japanese home was a small one bedroom apartment located on the outskirts of Hasetsu, owned and rented to him by a sweet elderly couple by the names of Aina and Hanako Minamoto. It wasn't his ideal arrangement, but it was as close to Yuuri as he could get that was available and discreet. He would much rather live at the inn his future in-laws owned and pay them as much as they wanted, but Victor wouldn't be able to control himself if he did. He'd be found out much too soon... Sometimes he despised his logical side, but it's what got him to where he was today.

His walls were decorated with a few Japanese posters of traditional art and ornaments he had purchased as souvenirs during his exploration of the nearby cities. There weren't many statues or framed photos around except for a Lucky cat and golden Buddha he had found in the Hasetsu shopping arcade. While he did find a number of things that were gorgeous and useful, he wasn't attached to any of it. He simply needed to keep a beautifully decorated apartment so when Yuuri came over, he wouldn't be put off by a barren environment. Once his cute, beloved soulmate was all his, the silver-haired man would take him back to Russia.

Yuuri would live happily having only Victor and their beloved poodle in his life! Oh, Victor was so excited he was tempted to make it happen sooner!

But he needed to control himself, and think of the present. Right now, Victor had yet to find some suitable places to make his and Yuuri's first date location. The seaside was an option, even though it wouldn't be a surprise. It was part of The raven-haired man's weekend jog locations but a beautiful area to be alone...

Maybe, just maybe...

It would only need a trip to the store and a syringe of special K. No one came by that beach anyway, from what he's seen. It was always empty.

Every time Yuuri jogged, gasping his breaths and leaving his sweat on the pavement, there was no one at that beach. If there _was,_ they never stayed long.

He'd simply have to lure Yuuri away, knock him unconscious, and take him into his car. Yuuri was so trusting, it would be easy!

Once Victor had him, he wouldn't have to worry about anything else... Yuuri would love him, tell his parents that everything was okay, and the silver-haired man would get the happily ever after he waited _so damn long to_ get.

Those years of searching.

Those years of pushing away everyone who dared try to ruin what he had now.

That night...

Victor chuckled to himself, feeling the corners of his mouth rise.

They'd all be worth it.

Hell, why even wait for the beach?!

He could just get into Yu-topia and take his beloved soulmate.

It was easy to get into the inn anyway. Victor could get it done within an hour...

A swift slap to his cheek was all it was needed to knock himself back to his senses.

No.

It was a bad idea.

Victor would get distracted and something would go wrong. Just like in Ice Castle.

He'd have to take Yuuri to public locations for now. Woo him over with conversation and bonding. Since they were soulmates, it shouldn't take too long. Victor would simply have to be charismatic and apply what he learned. Now, places...

There _were_ some restaurants, but they were so bare and boring. The perfect hangout locations for teenagers that didn't care. How could he woo his soulmate if the atmosphere was against him? Victor knew there was a movie theater around here, but it was such a cliché date idea! Why didn't this damn city have anything thrilling or exciting? Something Yuuri hasn't been to?

Victor sighed and sunk further into the couch.

What the hell was taking so long?

 **~~Yuuri~~**

He tapped open the message.

Victor had sent two pictures of Makkachin. The first was of the poodle with her head cocked to the side at the camera. The next was said poodle blurred, tongue lolled out as she was caught mid run towards her owner.

Yuuri felt his heart swell.

He wanted to meet Makkachin one of these days. She looked so cute... Maybe if he developed a platonic friendship with Victor before he left for Russia he could see her in person.

But that was a giant "if."

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:02 PM: She's way too cute! I wish I had a dog like her.'_

 **~~Victor~~**

Victor knew all too well just how cute his little Makkachin was, though honestly he would give her away to Yuuri in a heartbeat. All he had to do was ask.

He was attached to the poodle, don't get him wrong. She'd been his companion for the 9 years Victor had to play victim and she loved him regardless of what he did. Regardless of what she witnessed, her owner was her world.

Victor felt like they had a little connection. Like, they understood what the other felt despite having completely separate mindsets.

Makkachin always wanted her owner nearby. Victor always wanted Yuuri nearby. Both would go to great lengths to get what they wanted.

The only difference was the Russian man was willing to do more than what his brown poodle was capable of to get what he wanted.

 _A lot_ more.

He quickly typed out his own message, taking a few breaths to try and relax his shaky fingers. Victor needed to double check his responses before he sent them. He may end up typing something stupid or boundary pushing. He'd gone too far to lose it all now.

 _'Victor_

 _9:04 PM: Have you ever had a dog?'_

 __ **Yuuri** __

Getting a dog hadn't really crossed Yuuri's mind in the past. He'd been too concerned with his career, his friends, and his education at the time to really consider a pet on top of it. Besides, Yuuri didn't want to force his parents or his sister to care for an animal that wasn't theirs. He couldn't pass the responsibility of another life onto his family against their will.

Yuuri sighed, deciding now that he couldn't ignore Victor. He's tried, but ultimately couldn't handle it. He felt like an asshole every time he intentionally blew off a conversation attempt from the other man. Whether it was his conscious or his Soul Mark making him feel this way, he wasn't sure. But it was better to engage the Russian like this... with text-based conversations instead of cold shoulders. Victor was so nice to him. Why did he have to be so out of his league?

Yuuri quickly typed his message.

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:04 PM: No. I just didn't see a reason to get one except that they were cute at the time. I don't think I'd have the time or be responsible enough to care for it anyway.'_

 **~~Victor~~**

It made sense. Yuuri lived in an inn with customers that may or may not appreciate a dog running around. Not to mention chabudai tables were defenseless against a hungry animal looking to snatch meals. If Yuuri had been allowed to have a dog in the inn, Victor wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of health violation regarding dog hair in food or "excrements" found in the onsen.

 _'Victor_

 _9:05 PM: Well, you seem like you'd be great with dogs. Makkachin hasn't even met you yet and I think she already loves you'_

 _9:05 PM: Maybe you should consider coming on a walk with me to see her?'_

Victor paused, realizing what he was about to send. Hmm... He's invited Yuuri to do things many times in the past; even in the week his soulmate had been ignoring him for some reason. Would Makkachin be the answer to getting Yuuri to spend time with him?

He took a breath, his Soul Mark throbbed gently against his torso, sending a tingling sensation down his arm and within his chest; the idea of the raven-haired man being so close to him made him shiver. Yuuri could play with Makkachin and ignore Victor for all he cared. He just wanted Yuuri to accept his damn offers.

He pressed send.

 **~~Yuuri~~**

His breathing seemed to stop, heart beating faster than when he first picked up the phone again.

Meeting Makkachin? Did Victor think they were close enough that it'd be okay to invite Yuuri on a walk with him? Was Victor _actually_ psychic?

It was the only explanation to how Victor could have asked what he'd been thinking

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:06 PM: Are you sure I wouldn't be intruding? I could'_

Yuuri stopped his typing, gulping the lump in his throat. The realization made him put down his phone for just a moment, so he could recollect his thoughts.

Being alone with him, where _anything_ could happen...

He wasn't worried about Victor, but rather what Yuuri himself might say when was there. He was going to end up saying something stupid. Or weirding the Russian out because he didn't think before speaking.

Was all of this even a good idea to begin with?

What if he became friends with Victor but his affection never went away? He didn't want to spend the rest of his life pining over some guy he met in college.

Yuuri was just setting himself up for the worst heartbreak possible, wasn't he?

It couldn't be worse than Yuuko though, right?

He had already known her for many years prior to Yuuri's feelings turning to romantic affection. What made Victor different?

Yuuri brought his knees to his chest, hugging them close while his head sunk into the fluffy fabric of his pajama bottoms.

There was still the option of _not_ being friends... He could just tell Victor he wasn't interested in getting to know him, and just try to forget the lost opportunity. Being who he is, Victor could quickly replace the spot he'd made for Yuuri in his friend circle. So many people at uni were much more deserving of the Russian's friendship anyway.

…

The raven-haired man groaned softly. He leaned back, his head gently knocked against the headboard of his bed.

What did he want?

He wanted to keep Victor as a friend, that's what.

What benefits did he get from fulfilling that want?

He didn't know.

Yuuri could name a million reasons as to why he'd benefit from a friend like Victor.

But, would _Victor_ benefit from a friend like him?

No.

He wouldn't.

Yuuri wasn't rich, or a constant ball of sunshine like Victor was. He didn't have any noteworthy connections that the other man could be trying to obtain...

How about he thought about this from a different perspective?

Was he trying to get close to Yuuri to try to make good relations with the owners of Yu-topia Katsuki?

From a business view, Victor would benefit from partnering with an inn and onsen that monopolized Hasetsu. Not to mention the excellent reputation Yu-topia had with the city. If Victor was trying to open shop, and he advertised his partnership with Yu-topia, he'd certainly get some business. Most likely loyal onsen customers looking to see who befriended the raven-haired man's parents.

But, was Victor that manipulative?

It would explain why he was so determined about being friends with him...

Hmm...

Maybe he should watch Victor more closely and pay attention to their conversations? The other man had yet to ask anything relating to the onsen.

Or maybe he should stop jumping to conclusions and give people a chance, as Phichit would tell him.

Just as Yuuri was about to start typing his message, he realized what just happened.

He did mental gymnastics until he was back to square one.

God, why did his mind do this?

Why were his heart and Soul Mark thudding simultaneously against his chest.

Yuuri felt a little short of breath.

He hated himself sometimes.

What the hell should he say to Victor?

"Yes to see if you're trying to use me to get close to my business owning parents?"

"No because you have a soulmate and I have a crush on you that won't go away?"

The raven-haired man brought his head back up and picked up his phone.

He had just brought himself full circle back to being unsure of what to do, but he couldn't just leave Victor hanging. Yuuri needed to give him an answer.

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:09 PM: Sorry, but I don't know when I'll have time.'_

Send.

There.

He'll make up for it somehow.

 **~~Victor~~**

His knuckles turned white, the case of his phone making a small noise. Victor dropped his phone to keep himself from doing damage and instead clenched his fist, pupils narrow and icy as he glared where he had read that message.

" _What the FUCK!"_ He exclaimed in Russian, doing his best to not scream it out but ultimately failing. Makkachin's head lifted off of his chest and looked at her owner, obviously startled by his sudden outburst.

Victor sunk back into the couch and petted his dog's head to reassure her everything was alright. She only needed a moment until she laid her head back down.

He just didn't get it. What was he doing wrong?

The Russian was already restraining himself from doing everything he wanted. He gave Yuuri his space most of the time, even though it physically hurt his Soul Mark to not receive the affection he desired. He behaved as he should. Why wouldn't he accept his invitations?

He accepted _Takanori's_ invitation! Why not him?

He...

He didn't have feelingsfor _Takanori_ did he?!

No.

Nononononono.

That wasn't possible! It was _not_ possible for that to happen!

 _He_ was Yuuri's soulmate! No one else could have him!

Victor panted, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as his rage was gradually consuming him. Underlying his anger was a sense of panic. That Yuuri would completely overlook him for some shitty soccer player.

He needed to know the truth. He needed to know if there was a chance that that scum could take his beloved away from him.

Victor gently pet Makkachin's head as she licked his jaw, the poodle obviously sensed his stress and tried to calm him down.

He picked up his phone again.

With the rage underlying his logical sense, he began to type.

 _'Victor_

 _9:12 PM: That's a shame_

 _9:12 PM: I was really hoping we could hang out sometime soon_

 _9:13 PM: Can I ask you something if you don't mind?'_

 **~~Yuuri~~**

Oh God, he upset Victor didn't he?

Yes, he absolutely did.

And now he wanted to ask him something!

Oh God...

Uhh...

Oh God oh God.

He could really use his best friend by his side right now...

Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat and typed his message.

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:12 PM: What is it?'_

Before he could even switch tabs, he already had a text ringing in.

Then another.

And another.

 _'Victor_

 _9:12 PM: Have I offended you in some way?_

 _9:12 PM: You were ignoring me for a whole week before I spoke to you on the train_

 _9:12 PM: I'm not angry, I promise_

 _9:12 PM: I just want to know if I upset you and how so I can apologize and learn from my mistake.'_

Oh God...

" _It's not your fault, I swear! It's me!"_ Yuuri muttered to himself in his native tongue, as if Victor would be able to hear it. He needed to clear things up and quickly...

But...

He'd find a way to do it without admitting that he knew about Victor's soulmate.

Yuuri didn't want to make the other man paranoid about him. Or ruin something that was supposed to be a special moment between two individuals.

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:12 PM: Did I make it seem like that? I'm so sorry!_

 _9:12 PM: You haven't done anything wrong_

 _9:12 PM: I'm just a little intimidated by you_

 _9:12 PM: That's not the right word, but I mean that you have a big reputation. Not just on campus but in Russia too_

 _9:12 PM: I'm not sure how I can approach someone with so much importance. I could barely do it in my past career but only if my coach gave me a pep talk_

 _9:12 PM: Sorry for spamming!'_

Well... It wasn't the truth. Yuuri didn't actually think Victor's reputation was enough to keep him away.

But a little white lie wouldn't hurt anyone...

 **~~Victor~~**

" _It's not your fault, I swear! It's me!"_ Yuuri's voice came through the speakers of the Russian's phone.

Victor rose an eyebrow.

Not his fault, huh?

He knew damn well that none of this was his fault.

Yuuri didn't show any signs of being disgusted by him physically or by his personality, so it had to be another reason. What _was_ the actual cause? Well, apparently it was Yuuri's fault...

A new message came in. Then another. And another, rapidly coming in one by one

Oh, what excuse did his sweet Sunshine have this time?

…

Wh-What?

A big reputation in Russia?

Did he know?

How much did he know?

No, he couldn't know too much.

The news didn't leave Russian borders, and no one without a Russian IP could access that information. He sued to make sure his name was protected.

He had to ask.

 _'Victor_

 _9:12 PM: What do you know about me?'_

It took only a minute for another message to come in, followed by some more.

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:14 PM: You're Victor Nikiforov_

 _9:14 PM: When you were 15 years old you inherited your dad's sportswear company Nikiforov Athletics and was considered a legal adult before you even finished school_

 _9:14 PM: Famous businessmen disregarded you because you were young but when sales and stocks skyrocketed you were seen as a business prodigy_

 _9:14 PM: In the past I was competing professionally for figure skating and I had to do research on potential sponsors_

 _9:14 PM: I'm sorry if this all sounds creepy'_

Victor felt his heart swell with delight, his anger and panic momentarily leaving for him to take pleasure in Yuuri's text messages.

Heheh, Yuuri knew about him~ He cared enough about Victor to do some research on his name~

Oh, he loved Yuuri so much! Victor wished he could just reveal his Soul Mark and they could have their happily ever after!

But he needed that emotional attachment.

He wanted to become Yuuri's drug; his addiction.

Once he had his Sunshine wrapped around his finger enough for Yuuri to confess his feelings, or to accept Victor's confession, only then would he reveal their intertwined fates.

Yuuri would become no one else's after that~

He'd wear a beautiful golden ring on his finger and stay by Victor's side forever~

Yuuri would never be able to run away; he'd never _want_ to.

And even if he did, he'd never get far.

Victor would always find him, until the end of the world.

Even if Yuuri decided to hide in the deepest, darkest tunnel on planet Earth, Victor would find him without a problem.

Once their Soul Marks connected, Yuuri would never be able to get away from him ever again.

When that happened, no amount of beautiful men or women would be able to take his beloved soulmate away~

Not Phichit.

Not Takanori.

Not _anyone._

Victor felt his lungs burn, deprived of air.

He opened his mouth and took in a breath, gasping to feed himself oxygen.

Ahahah, thinking of Yuuri made him forget to breathe again!

He started typing.

 _'Victor_

 _9:16 PM: You know so much about me! ^ ^_

 _9:16 PM: It's not creepy, I'm flattered_

 _9:16 PM: But is that the only reason?_

 _9:16 PM: Please don't let that be the only thing preventing us from spending time together. I want to get to know you_

 _9:17 PM: I'm not some scary corporate man. I'm just a person who wants to make real and true connections_

 _9:17 PM: Have you ever had people approach you acting friendly only for them to use you for personal gain?'_

If he could trigger Yuuri's sympathetic side, then pity or guilt would surely follow~

Knowing him, he'd find a way to blame this on himself.

 **~~Yuuri~~**

God, why did Yuuri ever think for a second that Victor could be after his family's onsen?

Did he actually forget that Victor was _the_ Victor? Multimillionaire Victor Nikiforov with business as his sixth sense?

If Victor had been after his family's hot spring resort, then he would have negotiated a deal by now.

He didn't need to get to Yuuri to do anything!

God how egotistical was he that he would think Victor would even consider using him?

If the Russian wasn't after Yu-topia, then he really was just trying to make friends...

Then, was that why he was in university?

Surely owning a company as large as Nikiforov Athletics would have his career set? Hell, Victor definitely had enough money to live like a King for the rest of his life!

Aside from that, why did he want to be friends with _Yuuri_ of all people? What made the raven-haired man so special?

Yuuri snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at the messages he had received. Reading them again had made a knot form in his gut.

He sighed but started typing; he had his own questions.

' _Yuuri_

 _9:18 PM: What about the people that usually surround you?_

 _9:18 PM: They're not your friends?'_

His phone chimed before he could put down his phone. Victor really was quick at texting...

 _'Victor_

 _9:18 PM: They're not my friends_

 _9:18 PM: More like acquaintances.'_

He hummed in thought.

So Victor didn't consider those people his friends...

Not _one_ of them?

Not even the girl that called his name during his lunch with Takanori?

His soulmate wasn't part of that group either?

Or was he, but he and Victor weren't on friendly terms?

Or did Victor just not want to mention it?

Ugh... He really wished he could ask.

Well, Yuuri had made enough assumptions about Victor.

He'd been an asshole to the silver-haired man by ignoring him and thinking things that weren't true. Whatever the reason, Victor wanted to be friends.

A walk with him and Makkachin wouldn't be so bad, right? It would be two hours tops with him. Two hours wasn't enough time to fall in love with someone, right?

Yuuri began to type.

 _'Yuuri_

 _9:18 PM: I want to apologize for blowing you off Victor_

 _9:18 PM: I really do want to meet Makkachin, and you've been nothing but nice to me. I'm not saying that out of pity or anything_

 _9:18 PM: I'm sure I can make time-'_

His phone began to ring, the notification popping down to grab his attention and interrupt his message.

Phichit.

Yuuri slid his thumb across the green button to answer.

"Hey Phichit!" He answered happily.

"Yuuri! How's it going?"

 **~~Victor~~**

Victor's eyes widened. His pupils dilated with each passing message. His heart beat hard against his chest, breathing turning ragged and breathy. Yuuri was telling him what he wanted.

His Sunshine felt bad!

His Sunshine was changing his mind!

Pity or not, Victor didn't give a damn! Yuuri was going to accept-

What.

 _ **'Yuuri is in a call with +6684397444'**_

 _ **'Listen or Decline'**_

A call from +66?

Oh, it must be from that Thai friend of his. Phichit.

He tapped Listen and put the phone to his ear.

 **~~Yuuri~~**

"Pretty okay. What about you?" Yuuri set aside his laptop, Aria completely off his mind right now. Phichit was just the person he wanted to talk to.

"Doing good! I was calling to check up on you. Ciao Ciao reworked my program and it's gonna need a lot of work to perfect. He won't let me be on my phone except for brief breaks because of it!"

Yuuri chuckled. "Sounds like torture."

"It is!" Phichit's outburst made Yuuri smile, holding back his laughter. "It's terrible! Only 30 minutes to check Twitter, Instagram, Facebook- I didn't even get to say good night to Seung-gil today!"

The raven-haired man could almost hear the pouting in his friend's voice.

"I'm sure he understands. Besides, Seung-gil seems like he'd want you to practice way more than you talk to him."

"But I _have_ been practicing a bunch! I've been practicing harder and harder so I can have more time to talk to both you and him. But I want more than a couple of hours a week to talk to him! I _need_ my boyfriend time!"

Yuuri wished he had a relationship like Phichit and Seung-gil did. The two were so strong and loving of each other. They communicated well despite the long distance and when they did see each other, they were inseparable.

Phichit's cheerfulness and optimism was balanced out well with Seung-gil's stoicness and calculative thinking. The Thai skater knew how to get his boyfriend's soft, mushy side out of that hard shell while Seung-gil was capable of bringing the very best out of Phichit's person and performances. Not to mention their unwavering support for each other.

They had their differences and their lovers' quarrels like any other couple, but it was few and in between.

"Have you spoken to Celestino? I'm sure he'd understand if you asked him." Yuuri suggested.

"Oh, I haven't told you, have I?" Phichit received a 'no' then explained. "I changed my artist. My great grandmother on my dad's side was an artist! Hathai Chulanont. I'm gonna use Van Gogh as a backup unless a different skater wants him."

Yuuri gave a small 'oh', the pieces falling together. "Oh, so you've had to work extra hard because you're learning a whole new program from scratch?"

"Bingo. The event is gonna be here before I know it, and I have to work as hard as possible to do Hathai's beautiful art justice. Speaking of the event. Seung-gil thinks it would be better if he and I take the flight to Paris from Thailand, so we can spend as much time together as possible." The raven-haired man could hear the giddiness in Phichit's voice.

"He's going to make the extra flight for you? That's sweet!"

"Yeah! It'll be the first time we see each other in 5 months! I'm so excited! Oh, sorry! I should shut up about it now." Phichit said sheepishly, realizing that he might be annoying his friend with his relationship.

Yuuri grinned, "No no, don't worry. It's great to hear you're with someone that makes you so happy. You two are couple goals."

An audible gasp from the other end. Yuuri knew the exact reaction he would get from that.

"Yuuri Katsuki. That is by far the best compliment I have received about my relationship."

"Heheh, I knew you'd like it... Hey, Phichit, can I ask you something?"

Phichit must have sensed a tone shift, because his mood adjusted for the conversation. "What's up?"

"Now, hypothetically, and hear me out. If someone had asked you out and you said "no", but you wanted to stay friends with that person, how would you do it?"

"Yuuri, is this about that guy again?" Phichit asked him. "You didn't ask him out did you?"

"Yeah it's about that guy, no I didn't ask him out..." No way Yuuri could lie to his best friend. "The one with the boyfriend. I still have a crush on him, but he's such a nice guy Phichit. I want to be his friend... How would you do it if you were in my position?"

"Hmm..." Phichit gave some thought. "Well, how big is your crush? Do you just think he's handsome? Or is it something more?"

"H-He... He makes me feel... I..." Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat, a blush surfacing on his cheeks. His heart beat hard against his chest just at the thought of Victor. "I don't know how to explain it. It's not love, but if I had the chance to fall for him, I think I could... When I asked Mari, she said to keep a balance in the relationship. Basically, treat him like I would any one else... We text sometimes, but he wants to get to know me better in person. He invites me to do stuff all the time, and not too long ago he asked me to go on a walk with him and his dog. I want to go, but I don't know if I should."

Phichit took a second to think of his response, most likely imagining himself in Yuuri's place. "Hmm... Well, how badly do you want to stay friends with this guy?"

Yuuri sighed. "Really badly... He reminds me of you in a way. Always happy and so outgoing. I think you two would get along really well if you met."

"Then I suggest try being just his friend and accept that dog walk invitation. But Yuuri, listen to me. Not everyone is capable of being just friends with someone they have romantic feelings for. It's gonna hurt seeing him with his boyfriend, and it's gonna really suck for a while. You've got the biggest glass heart out of everyone I know, and you're making it walk on a tightrope right now." Phichit then added. "Heartbreak is a devastating emotion, Yuuri. I never want you to go through that."

Yuuri inwardly sighed hearing the last part. His friend was starting to sound like Yuuko.

"I know Phichit. I understand. Believe me I know I could end up heartbroken and how risky this all is, but... I don't want to miss out on a possible friend for life because it hurts, you know? What would Ciao Ciao say... uh..."

"Past every storm there's a rainbow?"

"Yeah, that." Yuuri said. He knew what he was getting himself into. And he knew that when his heart was inevitably broken, he would have no one to blame but himself.

"Just be careful, okay? I'd rather you cut your losses than go through this, but if you think his friendship is worth it, then I can't stop you." Phichit's chipper tone had ceased with these words; the sentence laced with a serious undertone.

Yuuri nodded a few times as if his friend would see it. "Yeah, I will. I promise that if I feel like I can't do it, I'll accept my losses and cut ties. Even I have a limit to how much I can take, you know." He assured the other. "Anyway, what does your performance consist of now?"

 **~~Victor~~**

Victor's world had become black and gray. Everything he was working for had shifted on its head then back again. He had sat up on the couch, back against the arm rest and his knees up to his chest. Makkachin had gotten up at some point of the conversation and was now drinking water from her bowl, but Victor didn't care. He was hardly paying any attention to her.

His eyes were wide, breath slow and shaky while his right hand dug its nails into the knee of his pants. Victor's fingers quivered as they pierced through skin, staining the fabric red. His ocean blue irises held an icy appearance to them, shaking. The look on his face had significantly darkened, shadowed by the repressed rage building inside of him.

His soulmate had feelings for him; _romantic_ feelings. His efforts were _not_ going to waste, but they were significantly hindered.

Yuuri believed Victor was seeing someone.

He couldn't correct Yuuri without the other asking how he knew this information. Yuuri hasn't told anyone besides Phichit, has he?

Now, Victor couldn't push towards romance without the risk of Yuuri cutting ties with him and believing he's a cheating, unfaithful asshole.

His only chance was to get Yuuri to ask about Victor's "boyfriend" or have him tell someone else so the Russian could shift the blame onto that person.

Until then, he was stuck.

He was stuck. And there was _nothing_ he could do about it...

It was _all_ in Yuuri's hands...

Victor's breathing became sharper and raspy, his pupils narrowed significantly as his heart and Soul Mark beat rapidly against his chest. The environment around him felt like it was spinning, fading in and out of existence. Victor felt dizzy and sick to his stomach.

God _dammit!_

He did not plan all of this for _so long_ just to be _friends!_

He did _not_ pay a million fucking Rubles to move to Japan, get into that shit university, and cocktease some disgusting old pervert to get into Yuuri's class _just_ for Yuuri to love him in a _**brotherly**_ way!

No!

Victor would _never_ be satisfied with just having him in his life.

Their romantic relationship was _destiny._

Yuuri belonged to him since the moment he was conceived.

They were going to become one.

Yuuri didn't have a choice which direction their relationship went.

It was going to become romantic one way or the other.


End file.
